1
Zane
She’s lifeless in my arms. I’m covered in blood, her blood, but I can’t let go. I’m holding her tightly to my chest, rocking on my knees, and screaming her name. I can’t hear it though. The only sound is my heart pounding in my ears....my shattered heart.
“Zane.”
I jump up and Kace puts his hand on my shoulder. “Is she awake?” I ask, frantically.
“No brother, not yet. You were asleep, not having a nightmare again.”
“Fuck off,” I say, pushing his hand off me.
Every time I close my eyes, I relive her getting shot. It plays like a damn movie, from the second I walked into Kingsley’s office to the second I felt her go limp in my arms.
“She’ll be awake soon. Remember when I was shot? It took a long time for me to wake up after surgery. You just need to be patient,” he says, looking from her to me. I see the pain radiating from him and it causes my own to intensify.
I run my hand through my hair and stand up. “I’m not a patient man.”
I walk over to her bed and kiss her forehead, moving her hair behind her ear the best I can with the oxygen tube wrapped around it. She hasn’t opened her eyes since she was shot. Brooks had to pull me off of her so the doctors could evaluate her. Her pulse was so faint, I thought the minute I let her go, she’d let go. And I was right. The minute I was pulled away, she all but stopped breathing. They immediately inserted a chest tube, which got her stable enough to run tests. The bullet hit her right heart atrium and ventricle and inferior caval vein. It was lodged in the muscles in her back. She had a huge right hemothorax, too, so she was rushed into surgery. The doctors say everything went well, but I won’t believe it until she wakes up.
“Come on brother, let's have a smoke and get something to eat,” Kace suggests.
My eyes never leave Harper’s still lifeless body. My heart squeezes in my chest seeing all the tubes and wires connected to her. The machine beeping, reminding me her heart is in fact still beating. “I can’t leave her,” I whisper.
He’s next to me in a few steps and rests his hand on my shoulder. “You aren’t leaving her; you’re taking a break. You still have blood on your hands, all over your clothes. You need to clean yourself up before she wakes up. It’s bad enough she’s gonna see that ugly face, she shouldn’t immediately be reminded of what happened.”
I know he’s right, but the thought of not being here when she opens her eyes is ripping me apart. She’s here because of me. That bullet was meant for me and she stepped in front of it. It terrifies me, infuriates me, and astonishes me.
When I woke up and found the note, she left me, telling me she loves me and was handling her father, I lost my mind. I almost killed Finn for letting her get out the door, but Kace quickly reminded me I didn’t notice she got out of bed. My fist met his jaw. It didn’t stop him though, he had Finn stay with Ivy and we rushed to Club Kingsley. I refused to wait for the others and amidst his cursing, I rushed in.
I never thought it would end the way it did. Harper being shot, Kingsley slipping away, and me pissed off at the world.
“Harper, I’m going to get cleaned up for you. I promise I won’t be long. I love you,” I whisper, kissing her still lips. Kace slaps my back and I turn to him. “I want someone outside her door. I want my mom in here, and I want someone outside this wing of the hospital.”
He nods and calls Porter, who rushes in. I tell him to guard this room with his life and he gives me his word. Feeling uneasy, I walk out of her room. The walls of this hospital feel like they are closing in on me. When we get to the waiting room and everyone rushes over to me, vacating the ugly brown leather chairs.
“How is she?” Brooks asks.
“Any change?” Riley questions.
The questions keep coming, but I walk away and grab my mom in a tight hug.
“My sweet boy,” she whispers. “How are you?”
“Not good, Ma. I need you to sit with her while I go clean up. Nora and Gloria can go with you, but I need you to make sure she stays alive until I’m back.”
Her sad eyes search mine as she touches my face. “Go, I’ll be by her side until you’re back.”
“We will, too,” Nora chimes in.
I simply nod, turning back to the guys. “No news, she’s stable.”
“I’m gonna take Z home. He needs a shower and something to eat,” Kace says.
Brooks puts his arm around my shoulders and moves close to my ear. “We need to sit down at the table and talk, Z. I know you’re hurting, but we need to figure shit out.”
“I know.”
“Go shower, get some food, and we’ll meet at the club in an hour.”
I know he’s doing what needs to be done, but right now, I feel like everyone and everything is against me. So, his simple request gets the fire in me starting to burn. I jerk away from him but before I can say anything, Kace grabs my arm.
“Let’s go.”
Once we get to my place, I take a shower. The water pounds on me as I brace my hands on the white tiled wall in front of me. I let my head hang and allow the fear, defeat, and bitterness wash over me. All I ever wanted to do was protect her and I failed miserably. I’ve never felt so much at once. I need to finish everything that was star
ted. I will no longer sit back and wait. Whoever gets in my way, will fucking die.
“Pizza’s here, brother,” Kace yells through the door.
I get out of the shower and dry myself. I’m careful not to go roughly over the stitches in my leg. Although, I no longer register the pain. My only focus is on revenge. I put on clean clothes and meet Kace in the kitchen.