“I’m starting to feel better. The morning sickness seems to be letting up,” I say, folding my hands on the table.
“I was so sick with Zane for the first few weeks. It took all my might just to get out of bed every day.” She looks off in the distance and I see the worry flash across her face. “He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” she whispers.
Nora squeezes her hand, giving her a reassuring smile. “You’ll tell him that again for the millionth
time shortly,” she says.
“How’s Brooks?” I ask Maren.
“I spoke with him earlier and he’s on some good pain medicine. We’re going to head up to the hospital shortly. He’ll be having surgery in a few hours.”
I nod as I bite my lip. I’m not exactly sure what to talk about. I want to ask them how they’ve handled this all these years. I want to ask how they had the motivation to get up and do their hair and makeup to perfection. I want to ask if they worry the way I am. I don’t need to though, because after Harper places my coffee in front of me, she pulls up a chair and says, “You know Ivy, this is Maren’s first time dealing with this shit. You two probably are feeling the same.”
I hadn’t even thought of that, but it’s true. “It’s kinda crazy, huh?” I say, taking a sip of my coffee.
She laughs as she looks around. “That’s a fucking understatement.”
“Ivy, you saw how everything happened last time. It should give you comfort,” Nora says.
“It was different last time,” I reply, biting my lip.
Nora looks at Harper who smiles. “She wasn’t with Kace during all that shit. She wanted to fuck him, but they were both too damn stubborn. I think her focus was mainly on her pussy not the shit happening,” Harper says, laughing.
I dip my head as I feel my cheeks heating up. Harper is right. I was too pissed and horny to concern myself when he walked out the door. It’s different when your heart is in it.
Everyone is laughing as I shake my head. “I’m pregnant and emotional,” I say.
“There will always be something happening in your life that they’ll miss out on. The club will always come first,” Adalyn says.
“The club comes first, but we are part of the club. We are just as important,” Harper hisses.
“The club will destroy anything you love,” Adalyn whispers.
Harper jumps up, but Nora grabs her arm. “Adalyn, enough of your bullshit. Until Axel died you were as hard core as anyone. You lived and breathed for this club. Your grief is what makes you believe all is evil with this club. For fuck sake, you have no problem taking advantage of the protection they all still give you.”
Adalyn slowly gets up out of her chair and walks into the bathroom without a word. I glance at Harper, who is shaking her head. Nora lifts her shoulders like it’s no big deal and Maren looks as confused as me.
“She’ll be fine. She forgets where she came from sometimes,” Nora says.
“Yeah and thanks for that because now I’m gonna have to listen to her crying to Zane about it all. I love her, but she’s getting worse with holding the club accountable for everything,” Harper says with a sigh.
“If you aren’t a hundred percent behind the club, there’s no reason to be here. The guys know the life they are signing up for when they patch in. Their ladies understand the deal when they commit to being with them. We are a fucking family, and you die for family. I’d die for any one of you,” Nora says, finishing off her coffee.
I glance at the clock and jump up. “Shit, I’m gonna be late. I’ll meet you all at the hospital when I’m done.”
They all wish me luck as I rush away and out the door. Once I’m in my car and on my way, I think of what Nora said. It’s the truth. A hard reality that I’ve decided to accept. If I want to be with Kace, I must accept with the club. I think I’ve been without family for so long that I forgot what it was like to have one. When Nora said she’d die for any one of us, it suddenly made me realize how much love is involved with the club. It’s not just fights and killing. It’s laughter, friendship, family, and love. I get it now.
I can’t keep the smile off my face as I walk into the doctor’s office.
As I walk out to my car, I can’t stop looking at the ultrasound picture. I’m about thirteen weeks and the heartbeat is loud and strong. I asked if she could tell the sex, but she said it was too early. I smile as I reach my car, running my finger along the ultrasound. A little piece of me and a little piece of Kace. I honestly can’t remember the last time I felt so happy.
“Hey, Ivy.”
I turn to the strange voice and it all goes black.
The smell of stale cigarettes, dirt, and beer assault me. I snap my eyes open and immediately regret it. The pain I feel causes me to close them. My head is pounding and hurts like hell. I try to move and reluctantly open my eyes when I can’t. Panic sets in when I realize I’m bound to a chair. My hands are zip tied behind me and my ankles are each zip tied to each leg of the chair. I look around the dark room, the only bit of light coming in from between two pieces of plywood covering a window. The walls are crumbling, there are only rafters above me, the floor is a combination of broken tile and more plywood. There’s a disgusting bed that looks like the sheets and blanket have just been pulled out of the mud. A small table with two chairs sits in the corner. It’s filled with overflowing ashtrays, empty beer bottles that are knocked over, and pill bottles.
My stomach turns and I try to loosen my hands. I can feel the zip tie digging into my skin and tears fill my eyes. Fear I have never felt wraps itself around my throat as I try to keep quiet. I’m alone and I have an unsettling feeling that it’s better that I am.