The fist in Dex’s hand started to shake. Pulling it away, Sloane fell back onto his ass, his knees drawn up and apart as he hung his head in his hands. Not knowing what to expect, Dex carefully sat up and nudged closer inch by inch, when Sloane grabbed his arm and dragged him onto his lap. Dex shifted his position so he could face Sloane, slipping his arms around him and feeling a sense of relief when Sloane held him tightly to him, his face buried against Dex’s neck, whispering, “I’m not a monster.”
Dex ran a soothing hand over Sloane’s head. “I know that.” Sloane shook his head, a shuddered sigh escaping him, moisture against Dex’s neck.
“Whatever you hear, whatever they say, please… don’t believe it.” Dex opened his mouth to reassure him, when Sloane’s choked voice whispered in his ear. “I never meant to hurt her. I’m not a monster.”
Dex held Sloane, whispering soothing words and rubbing a hand over his back. When Sloane had stopped sniffing and let out a shuddered breath, Dex gently urged him to stand. With great effort, Dex helped his sluggish partner to his feet and into the bedroom. He guided Sloane to what he considered his side of the bed and sat him down. Sloane lay on his side, his eyes bloodshot, dark circles around them. Dex kissed him, brushed his hair away from his face, and went about undressing him. Sloane was out for the count by the time Dex had him dressed in the spare T-shirt and loose sweatpants. He emptied out Sloane’s pockets before collecting the clothes and carrying them downstairs to the basement to chuck them in the washing machine. Once back upstairs, he turned off everything as he made his way back to the bedroom, feeling numb.
Tonight had been a strange and disturbing night. He didn’t know what had brought all this about, but he sure as hell was going to ask his partner about it in the morning. Once he’d brushed his teeth and changed, he climbed into bed beside Sloane who’d rolled himself onto his back. There was so much Dex didn’t know about his partner, about his past, and he tried not to dwell on it. Sloane was a good guy, he knew that much. Dex trusted him, though at times he thought he was crazy for doing so. His eyes landed on Sloane’s hands, and Dex took one gently in his. He gave the back of it a kiss before turning it over, his thumb brushing over the faint line on his wrist. Sloane had suffered in his youth. So much so, he’d been desperate to escape any way he could. That much he’d told Dex.
“Why won’t you let me help you?” He held onto Sloane’s hand and closed his eyes, hoping Sloane might explain tomorrow, though he wouldn’t hold his breath. He had to try to get through to his partner for both their sakes.
THE NEXT morning, Dex had gotten up before Sloane for the first time ever. Most likely due to the fact he’d barely slept. He dragged himself out of bed and made coffee, and breakfast. After he’d eaten, he sat at the counter wondering if he should wake Sloane up before Dex headed out, when he heard Sloane coming down the stairs. His heart squeezed at the sight of Sloane standing in his pajamas and unlaced biker boots, looking disheveled and fragile.
“Hi,” Sloane croaked. He cleared his throat and rubbed his arm, trying again. “Hi.”
“Hey, how are you feeling?”
“As shitty as I probably look.” His voice was hoarse, and he shifted uncomfortably, but he didn’t move from where he stood.
Dex waved a hand in dismissal. “Nah, you look fine.” Sloane narrowed his eyes at him, and Dex cringed. “Yeah, okay, you look pretty shitty.”
“I appreciate your honesty.”
“Coffee?”
“No, thanks. I’m uh, gonna go. Thank you for not slamming the door in my face.”
“You’re my partner.” Dex got up, but didn’t move from his spot, afraid if he did, Sloane would leave. So far, he’d said he was going to, but hadn’t. Dex took that as a good sign. However, Sloane’s inability to look him in the eye, wasn’t such a good sign.
“How can you keep being so good to me? I don’t deserve it.”
“I’m worried about you.”
“I’m worried too.”
Dex couldn’t hold back anymore. He walked around the counter and approached his partner. “Sloane? What’s going on? You’re really freaking me out here.”
“I gotta go.” Sloane turned, but Dex caught his arm. He couldn’t let him leave, not like this, not without giving him something.
“Goddamn it, Sloane. Last night you were so shitfaced, I’m amazed you managed to stay on your feet, yet out of everywhere you could have gone, you came here. You came to me. Why can’t you let yourself trust me? Forget what is or isn’t going on between us. Trust me.”
“I’m scared.”
Sloane’s confession startled Dex. “Of what?”
“Of going back there. Of not being strong enough. I can’t drag you down with me.” Again, Sloane tried to walk off, when Dex called out after him.
“What happened to her?”
Sloane stopped in his tracks. “What?”
“Last night
. Before you passed out, you told me you never meant to hurt her. That you weren’t a monster.” He watched Sloane rub his hands over his face in frustration, before he cursed under his breath. “Yeah, I figured you probably never meant for me to hear that. When’s the right time for me to hear it, Sloane? When you’re gone? When I’m helpless to do anything to help you?”
Sloane stood, and just when Dex thought the guy was going to make a break for it, he spoke up, his back still to Dex. “Dr. Freedman isn’t his real name. His name is Dr. Abraham Shultzon. He saved my life. Twice. The second time, you sort of know about.” He turned to face Dex, and the expression in his partner’s amber eyes crushed Dex’s heart. It was fear mixed with desperation, self-loathing, and God knew what else. “All you need to know is if the public finds out what he knows…. They’ll demand more than my resignation. They’ll want to see me put in a cage. The THIRDS will lose credibility. They’ll demand to know about all the other First Gen agents. Ash….” Sloane put a hand to his head, and Dex crossed the distance between them, leading Sloane to the couch to sit.
“Take it easy. We won’t let that happen. Come on, Sloane. We can do this. Destructive Delta hasn’t left a case unsolved. I’ll be damned if this becomes the first. We’ll find Dr. Shultzon, and we’ll stop Isaac. But we can’t do it without our Team Leader.” Dex knelt before him, meeting his lover’s reddened gaze. “Shultzon believed in you. He might have helped you become the agent you are today, but that never would have happened if it wasn’t in you. I don’t know what hell you suffered, but the important thing is, you made it out, and you’re stronger for it.”