He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Ethan’s heart squeezed in his chest, and he whispered again.
“Hudson?”
“Can’t hide anything from you, can I?” Seb replied with a sad smile. “Yeah. At work it’s not so bad. I don’t really see him around, and when I need something, I call Nina instead.” Seb rubbed a hand over his face in frustration. “I thought it would get easier. It’s supposed to get easier.” He shook his head somberly. “But every time I see him, it kills me.”
“Why do you do that to yourself?” Sure, there was something Seb could do. He knew it was especially hard with Seb having marked Hudson, but he couldn’t go on like this. It was steadily getting worse. His brother was always so cheerful and playful, it broke Ethan’s heart.
“I don’t know how not to love him, Ethan.”
Ethan swallowed hard. The anguish on his brother’s face was hard to see. Before Ethan could reply, Taylor appeared, throwing his arm around Seb’s shoulders.
“Listen, bro. I heard about what happened. Sorry things didn’t work out with Cael. You two looked good together. Man, I can’t believe he chose Keeler. Him and Daley have a hard-on for fucked-up guys. You took him home a couple of times before that. Tell me you at least got to bang him.”
Unbelievable. Ethan glared at Taylor, when he happened to glance over Taylor’s shoulder. His eyes widened, and a lump formed in his throat. Ethan tugged at Seb’s sleeve. His brother turned around, and Ethan could almost feel his brother’s pain when he saw Hudson standing there looking devastated. When Hudson spoke, his voice was barely a whisper.
“You and Cael?”
“It’s not what you think,” Seb said quietly, taking a hesitant step toward Hudson. “It was a few drinks. We didn’t—”
Hudson held a hand up. “You don’t owe me an explanation, Sebastian. You don’t owe me anything.”
“Lobito, please.”
“Don’t,” Hudson warned sharply before seeming to get ahold of his emotions. He straightened and smoothed out his vest. “Please don’t call me that. Excuse me.” He started to turn, when Seb caught his arm.
“It was drinks and talking. Nothing happened.”
Hudson tried to pull his arm out of Seb’s grip to no avail. “Sebastian, please….”
“He’s in love with Ash, and I’m—”
“Stop,” Hudson pleaded.
His grief was as heartbreaking as Seb’s, and Ethan wished he could do something to help. The despair filled the air like a thick fog. It made Ethan anxious. He hated seeing his brother hurting, and Hudson had always been a good friend to him. There was a time when Ethan believed Hudson would become part of their family. The two had been so in love, as if they’d always been together. From the first day they met, they’d been drawn to each other. Ethan cared about Hudson very much, but he couldn’t understand why Hudson was determined to be apart from Seb when he clearly still loved him deeply. Why was he torturing himself? Especially since his pain would be greater than Seb’s, considering he was the one bearing his ex-lover’s mark.
“I love you.” Seb put his hand over his heart, his grip still on Hudson’s arm. “I told myself that I could move on, that my heart would heal, but after all this time, the wound’s
only gotten deeper. I need you in my life, Lobito.”
Hudson swallowed hard. A tear rolled down his cheek, and Seb brushed it aside with his thumb. “Our bond is as strong now as it ever was. I can’t stand to be away from you. Please, come back to me. I know you still love me.”
Something flashed in Hudson’s blue eyes, and his gaze turned hard. “You’re wrong.”
“And you’re lying,” Seb replied, moving his hand to Hudson’s neck, his thumb stroking Hudson’s skin. A visible shudder went through Hudson before he pulled away.
“I’ve moved on.”
Seb flinched.
Ethan didn’t know how much longer he could take this. The anger, hurt, and pain was overwhelming. Whoever had been on the roof garden when Hudson showed up, they were gone now. It wasn’t some scandalous fight their coworkers would gossip about the next day. This was something that cut deep. Everyone in Unit Alpha felt for Seb and Hudson. Please, Hudson. You love him. Calvin placed his hand to the small of Ethan’s back, and he felt himself calm.
Hudson straightened to his full height and lifted his chin. He pushed his glasses up his nose, his voice laced with a harsh tone unbecoming of him, one Ethan didn’t like.
“It’s time for you to move on, Sebastian. We can never get back what we had. It’s over.”
“Sweetheart….”
“We let a child die!” Hudson snapped. “We were so wrapped up in our perfect little world, we failed to protect those who counted on us. We swore an oath, and we bloody botched that up in spectacular fashion, didn’t we?”