“You haven’t touched your Horn in a whole week,” he accused. “Marisol’s been playing every day on the Horn you asked me to send her, and she asked me why el doctor guapo hasn’t been around.”
Mostly because I’d stuffed my Horn in the back of my pajama drawer the second I got back here that first night, and I hadn’t touched it since. Just the sparkly purple sight of it made me think of Riggs and get all maudlin.
By which I meant even more maudlin.
“Yeah, so? Was it Mulberry Harvest Day? Did I miss the Hug An Orc Jubilee?” I asked sullenly.
“First of all, don’t even joke about hugging orcs. That’s a one-way ticket to the great respawning room in the sky, my friend, and you would never find your way back to our homestead. Second… wow. Tucker was right.” He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and gave me a wondering look. “He told me you needed an intervention, but I didn’t believe it at first. I didn’t think you were capable of it. But you’re moping.”
I scowled. “What? Intervention? Pfft. Moping? Pfffffffffft. Ridiculous. And since when do you talk to my ex-boyfriend? And since when does my ex-boyfriend know anything about my mental state?”
“I knew Carter was capable of moping.” Grandfather stood up and clomped out from behind the other club chair.
I thunked my head back onto the cushion with a groan. I’d been so careful to lock the door. I’d had no idea I was locking the meddlers in the room with me. “Et tu, Grandfather?”
“Jordan Kilpatrick,” Grandfather told Kev. “Ninth grade.”
“Jordan Kil—? Dear God, why?” I asked the ceiling. “Why me? Why now?”
“Who’s Jordan Kilpatrick?” Kev demanded. “Why have I never heard this story?”
“Because there’s no story. I haven’t thought of the man in decades,” I scoffed.
“He was your cousin’s very first crush,” Grandfather told Kev, pursing his lips meaningfully. “Led our Carter down the primrose path.”
“No, he didn’t.” Though I’d wanted him to. Badly. “Jordan wasn’t into me at all. I was way too nerdy for the likes of him. He was more into sports and fast cars, as I recall.” Varsity basketball, even as a freshman. Led the team to three state championships. Drove a white Mustang. Had a single dimple in his left cheek. “Though who remembers details, really?”
“Carter tutored Jordan in chemistry—”
“Biology,” I corrected, only realizing I’d fallen neatly into Grandfather’s trap when he smiled at me triumphantly. “What? I mean, I remember that part,” I grumbled.
“Made Carter feel special for a time, then hurt his feelings pretty badly when he moved on to some little jade named Thomas.” Grandfather’s eyes narrowed spitefully.
“Tommy MacDal is not a jade.” I rolled my eyes. “I honestly don’t even know what that means, but the man graduated from divinity school, and I doubt you can be a jade and also a reverend.”
“Nevertheless,” Grandfather said. “Jordan treated you poorly. And do you remember the advice I gave you, Carter?”
“To eat my vegetables?”
“Always a good idea, if not terribly pertinent to this situation.” He raised one bushy white eyebrow. “I meant the other advice.”
I sighed deeply. “That my heart is a precious thing and I should be cautious with it. I should save my love for someone who loves me back.”
“Exactly.” He perched himself on the hassock that served as a coffee table with a smug little smile. “So I think it’s plain what you need to do here.”
“See if the housekeeper will make me a veggie omelet? I concur.” I nodded and moved to stand. “Good talk—”
“Nope.” Kev held me down with surprising strength. “Intervention’s just getting started. If you’re saving your heart for someone who loves you back, why aren’t you with your bodyguard? And I don’t mean John. His wife wouldn’t appreciate that.”
“Because Riggs isn’t my bodyguard anymore. He’s not my anything.” The gut punch of that hit me yet again. “I was his client. His principal. Now that we’re home, our relationship is… is dissolved. Simple as that. So I absolutely don’t require an intervention.” I faked a smile like I wasn’t close to tears. “You know, I should probably run upstairs, get changed, and then take a drive into town. Check in with Tuck and Dunn, since I haven’t seen them for a bit.”
Or go upstairs, sack out on my bed, and forget to leave. Either way.
“Mmm. And why haven’t you seen them?” Grandfather demanded.
I gave him my orphan puppy-dog eyes. “Because I’ve been spending my days and evenings here, in the bosom of my beloved family.”
Grandfather gave me the eyebrow lift again, and I collapsed with a sigh.
“Okay, fine. Because I didn’t want to talk to the Bundt-Cake Brigade,” I mumbled. “And I swear they have Spidey senses that tingle when I cross into Licking Thicket.”
“We prefer to be called the Thicket Beautification Corps.” Tucker scowled as he stalked in from a second door—a door I’d honestly thought led to a closet—with his arms crossed over his chest. “Our Spidey senses have no limitations. And we’re more about community activism and empowerment than baked goods, FYI.”