Carter turned to gesture to the man with our medical gear. Within moments, he was listening to Santiago’s heart with a stethoscope.
Except… Santiago wouldn’t shut up.
“It has been this way for weeks and months! It came on suddenly, you see. The pain. The heart pain. I would valiantly battle it back by day through the enormous strength of my will, only for it to steal my breath again at night. I knew right away it was not good, for everyone said, ‘Gustavo, this is not good!’ They said, ‘Gustavo, you need a doctor! Even the bravest of men—which is you, you’re the bravest, Gustavo—cannot fight this demon on his own.’” He coughed weakly.
Carter opened his mouth to say something, but Santiago kept talking over him.
“So I asked our local doctor. A man named… what was his name, Javier?” He snapped his fingers but didn’t wait for any Javier to respond. “Pendejo estúpido. His name was pendejo estúpido. Because that doctor said I was fine when I am clearly not fine, and we dealt with him the way we always deal with liars.” He paused to tell Carter as an aside, “We threw him off the mountain.”
“Oh.” Carter nodded as if this were utterly reasonable. “I see.”
“If I were fine, I would have defeated this heart pain the way I have defeated all of my enemies, would I not, Dr. Carter?”
“Er. Yes?” Carter guessed.
Santiago nodded slowly. “Yes. Exactamente. Perhaps you are smarter than the last doctor.” He sucked in a breath through his nose and let out a long, lusty sigh that had Carter taking a half step back. “It has been a long time since I have felt the energy of youth. But once… once I was a very strong young man. Full of vitality, like a… like a…” He snapped his fingers once again. “What’s a strong animal?”
“A… a bull?” Carter suggested.
“Yes. There is much bull about me still, is there not? You see it don’t you?” Santiago smirked and quirked one dark eyebrow. “But once, Dr. Carter, I was full of bull.”
“I believe that,” Carter said solemnly, not a single eyelash twitching.
“Everyone saw me this way, did they not, Raoul?”
Once again, no one named Raoul responded, and once again, Santiago continued his speech, unbothered.
I wondered if calling out names at random was just a thing he did.
“But then, boom!” he shouted, scaring poor Carter and half the ladies in the room into jumping at the loud noise. “I was struck down in my prime. I have lived a long and satisfactory life, have I not, Eliana?”
The women looked at each other helplessly, but Santiago kept monologuing.
“And yet, here I am at the nightfall of my glorious day on earth. My dusk, if you will, of a day that has seen much.” He waved his arm through the air, almost taking out Carter’s head in the process. “I have seen the Bolivarian Republic of—”
Carter finally broke in. “Sir, I must ask you to give me a moment of silence so I can listen to your heart. Please.”
Santiago looked startled, but he eventually gave a gracious wave of his hand and allowed Carter to step forward again. But as soon as Carter pressed the stethoscope to his heart, Santiago opened his big mouth.
“Moment of silence… yes, that is right. I believe I need a moment of silence. A moment of silence for the beauty of my life, which has been threatened by the devastating disease whose horrific nature Dr. Carter will now diagnose.” He sighed dramatically, “Let us all take a moment of silence to think about the long and varied life I, Gustavo Santiago, has led while he prepares for us his diagnosis.”
Carter nodded, and his jaw finally started to relax… but then the drama queen started up again. Something about this wasn’t right. There was no way the man on the bed could be a diabolical leader in one of the most dangerous drug cartels in South America.
“Be sure to commemorate the high moments in this moment of silence, for there have been many. The day I stood on the hilltop and claimed this land for my own. The very first shipment of… ah… goods to successfully reach… er… foreign shores. And, of course… the many additional successes I’ve had over the years of my time in this life. I was once honored as a dinner guest at the home of the minister of land transportation. Alas, he was humbled by my very presence in his home. He certainly was. His lovely wife… I forget her name now as it was not important to me then or now… presented a fine table, but nothing like the table of Major General Mamani. No, that dinner was one that will remain top in my memory for the finest—oof!”
Carter shot him an apologetic smile after thumping his chest with the drum of the stethoscope. “Sorry, it seems you’re right. There is something going on here, but it is difficult to hear it while your… chest is vibrating from the talking.”