People might say we’re crazy for moving so fast, but Rachel is supporting me, and Felix’s mom – Lucy, who I love already – is supporting Felix.
That word rings through my mind.
Love.
What is this, what we’re sharing, if not love?
“Fair enough,” I say, returning to the present moment. “But you can’t tease me by flashing your abs every two seconds.”
He chuckles, raising his hands. “Easy there, mystery girl. You’re starting to make me feel like a piece of meat.”
I giggle as I approach him, digging my nails into his chest. “Are you complaining, huh?”
He leans in for a kiss.
And then Lucy sweeps into the kitchen, her big summer dress billowing around her. She stops with a mischievous grin when she sees that we are about to kiss.
“Don’t let me interrupt.”
I laugh, and Felix chuckles.
“We’re not putting on a show, Mom,” he says.
“Your friend and my nurse seem to be getting on very well,” Lucy says. “I thought I’d give them some alone time.”
Sebastian and Rachel?
It’s true, they’ve been texting a little, but I thought that was about Rachel’s plans to start a nursing course. But maybe there’s something more going on.
Maybe there are enough happily-ever-afters to go around.
Lucy coughs violently into her hand, dispelling any notion this will be an uncomplicatedly beautiful time.
I pour her a glass of water, handing it to her quickly.
“Thanks, sweetness,” she says, the nickname she’s been using ever since we met.
It makes me glow inside. But I worry for her.
“Silly thing. It’ll pass soon.”
I smile, nodding, hoping she’s right, hoping she can somehow beat this.
“Anyway, let’s talk about something cheerful, shall we?” Lucy grins at me. “Like how you’ve transformed my son in all the best ways.”
“Mother.”
Felix rolls his eyes, but it’s with that new smile on his face, the one I never saw before we got together. It’s full of light and affection and love…but is it only love for his mother, or is it love for me too?
“What?” Lucy goes on, grinning. “She has. Just look at that smile, Felix. I haven’t seen you smile like that since you were….”
“Since I was a kid. It’s okay, Mom. You can say it.”
I’m glad Lucy commented on the smile, confirming that we’ve entered a new stage…not just in our relationship but also in our lives.
“I’m just so happy you found somebody.”
Lucy reaches over, taking my hand, holding it gently like the mother I never had…like the mother I lost.
And now we’re losing her too.
Life is so unfair sometimes.
“You two are going to share so much happiness,” Lucy says. “You’re going to share so much joy. I’m proud of both of you.”
I squeeze her hand in return. “Proud? Why?”
“Because what you’re doing takes guts,” Lucy says firmly. “Most people wouldn’t even understand what you’re doing. They wouldn’t believe you care as strongly as you two do, not after such a short time. But when you know, you know.”
“We should be happy I’m such a shameless thief, then,” I say, laughing.
Felix chuckles and puts his arm over my shoulder, pulling me in for an embrace. I lower my cheek onto his chest, the gesture feeling both new and familiar. It’s an intoxicating combination that describes so much of our time together.
“I’ll never stop being thankful for that,” he teases lightly, kissing the top of my head.
The next day, during lunchtime at the office, I get a text from Felix.
Maybe it’s silly, but I still feel a little giddy every time he sends me a message. It always calls me back to those earlier days, when I was captive to those three flashing dots, the anticipation of knowing my dream man was writing to me.
Be outside in ten, mystery girl xxx
My heart flutters. I clutch my phone in both hands as though the tension will become too much, and I’ll break it in half.
My thoughts fly to unfairly hopeful places.
What the heck am I going to do, though? Say no?
I can’t get my hopes up. I won’t allow myself to think this means the L-word, or something more, something even more significant.
I can’t keep expecting him to say that magic four-lettered word. I need to wait.
I’m the mysterious one? I write back. You’re the one who’s sending me weird messages LOL! XXXXXX
Do what you’re told…or you might get punished later
My bottom rubs against the seat as though remembering the last time he spanked me a couple of days ago. They were experimental love taps, nothing too severe, but they made me feel so his, so owned, so perfectly under his control.
Maybe I’ll purposefully stand you up then
The three dots appear, then vanish. Maybe I’m not over it after all. I’m eagerly waiting like it’s the first text he ever sent.
I don’t think you want to do that. Ten minutes…nine now
I head outside before my lunch break is over so I won’t have to explain to my boss. People at the office have already seen Felix and me together, and predictably people are saying I’m trying to screw my way up the ladder.