I have to know.
“It broke me, I think,” I go on, as she makes a cute noise of pity and hugs me tighter. “I always found it difficult to be in relationships after that. Maybe I was scarred from all the abuse I saw. Maybe it was the death, the memory, walling me off. That’s it, Fiona, my beautiful mystery girl…I think that’s right at the heart of it.”
“What, Felix?” she whispers.
“Me, being walled off. The only thing that ever did anything for me was work. I thought I would be alone for the rest of my life. I never thought I’d feel a thing, a real emotion, not when it came to a girlfriend…not when it came to something more. But then, a mystery girl sent me a text out of the blue. And my life changed forever.”
My heart is pounding, my head feels cloudy, and suddenly it’s like the room is spinning.
Fiona’s voice is quiet, withdrawn, as though she’s being cautious. “What do you mean?”
I shouldn’t have expected her to immediately leap into my arms, to proclaim she feels the same. But it still hurts, as though some idiotic part of me was secretly entertaining that wish.
“I mean you,” I say. “I mean, when we were texting, I felt more than I ever have. And when we met…it was like an explosion, Fiona. All these feelings came rushing in. I started thinking about how you were – are – the one. You’re my one, my woman. You’re going to be my wife one day, and you’re going to have my children, and we’re going to be together forever. I knew it was crazy, but I couldn’t stop. I can’t stop.”
My words break away with a shivering growl. I can barely believe that’s my voice, that I truly just said all that.
This is the part where she leans back in my embrace, staring up with tears in her eyes, rage-filled tears.
She’ll snap at me, demanding to know why I had to ruin everything by talking so crazily. She’ll tell me it’s unfair.
“Is this real?” she whispers, her voice torn by a rising sob.
“Yes.” My tone is firm. There’s no point holding back now. “You’re my woman, Fiona. I own you. I own your gorgeous wavy hair and your perfect curvy body, and your smile, your shy sassy smile that lights up the room. I own your beautiful flaring temper and your dreams and your future. And you own mine. At least, to me, you do.”
My voice falters. I haven’t felt this vulnerable since the days following my father’s death when I felt like I would be wrenched away and taken to jail any second.
“Say it’s real,” she sobs, then clears her throat. “Tell me you mean this. Promise.”
“I promise, Fiona. It’s real.”
Finally, she leans back in my arms, staring up at me.
I was right about her eyes being smeared red with tears. She rubs her cheeks.
“I…,” she giggles, the sound like heaven. “I feel the same.”
Suddenly, it feels like the floor has dropped away beneath me. I feel like I’m falling, whizzing through the air, the wind cutting at me – nothing to hold onto, no way to stop.
And then Fiona grabs my hands, squeezing tightly.
“Did you hear me? I feel the same, Felix. All of it.”
“You want to be my wife one day,” I whisper.
She blinks, tears sliding down her cheeks. But now, they glimmer with something like joy.
“Yes,” she whimpers.
“And you want my children.”
“Yes.”
“And you want a life together.”
“Yes.”
I cradle her face in my hands, her tears rubbing warm and wet against my palms. “Tell me who you belong to, mystery girl.”
“You, Felix. Always you. Forever you.”
I lean down and kiss her firmly. She makes that adorable gasping noise, and then she slides her hands up to my shoulders, digging her fingernails into my flesh. I snarl through the kiss, surging forward, pushing my body against hers.
The positioning is awkward, so I grab her wide, beautiful hips and lift her up. She yelps and grins down at me as I drop down onto the couch and lower her onto my lap.
“You make me feel so weightless.”
I smirk. “You do the same for me.”
She splits her legs, my eager young virgin, and sits down on top of me. Our lips latch onto each other again, desperate to feel how badly the other person wants it.
Her kisses have more passion than I’ve felt yet. She moans and grinds her crotch against me, up and down the engorged length of my throbbing manhood. My dick is barely contained in my pants, pushing hard as if starving for her.
She breaks it off, straddling me, her cheeks flushed with passion and tears.
But the crying has stopped now. Another emotion has taken hold in her wide glinting eyes, daring and nervous at the same time.