I blinked. Hadriel had a habit of tumbling off the deep end of absurdity, to the point where you had to wonder if something was fundamentally wrong with him.
I slowly swung my gaze to him, hoping he was kidding. As if we were a comic duo, he swung his gaze toward me at exactly the same speed. When our eyes met, he waggled his eyebrows. He very clearly was not kidding.
“And how are you, sire?” he said, his posture still perfectly mimicking mine.
I found myself answering without meaning to. “Scared.”
A shock of adrenaline coursed through me. I hadn’t meant to use that word. I didn’t even know where it came from.
Feeling the emotion, Finley glanced back. When our eyes connected, something tight in my middle loosened. My muscles relaxed. She gave me a nervous smile but then went back to what she was doing.
More words tumbled out, unbidden. “I’m scared she won’t be with child. That she has built her hopes up again, that I have built her hopes up, and she’ll be disappointed. I don’t think I can see that vulnerable, sorrowful look on her face.”
I leaned back, pulling my hands to the edge of the table.
“I’m scared that I’ll never be able to give her children. That we’ll have to go through this again and again. She wants to be a mother, and she’d be such a great one. I hope I can give that to her. On the other hand, I’m also scared that she is with child. I’m scared that I won’t be able to protect her. I’m scared, above all else”—my voice caught—“that I will lose her. I can’t lose her. If I lose her, I will lose myself. Without her, there will be a hole in my center that I’ll never be able to fill.”
I blinked away moisture in my eyes, trying not to focus on the uncertainty of this moment. On the terror of waiting for my future to be laid bare.
“And what do you hope for?” Hadriel asked me, and I noticed his hands were on the edge of the table like mine. I had no idea why he was mimicking me like that. Was it on purpose? Or was he just incredibly odd and off-putting?
Once again, because I was so off-kilter with him right now, I opened my mouth and the words came tumbling out.
“I hope she will soon find out she is the mother of my child. That’ll make me the happiest man this world has ever known.”
Hadriel put his palms up and nodded. “Then let’s just focus on that, shall we, sire? Fear helps us pass the time, sure as shit, but it doesn’t actually get us anywhere. Unless you’re being chased, obviously. When I’m being chased, I run like a motherfucker. You might remember that from my years of being picked on by dragons. Ol’ Hadriel is very quick.”
As with before, he dragged my focus to him, kicking and screaming. He also mimicked the head turn from earlier, moving with the same deliberate slowness as I had.
“Hello,” he said when our eyes met, and suddenly I wanted to strangle him.
“Okay. It’s ready.” Finley stared down into the pot as a small knock came at the door.
“Oh. Fantastic. Just in time.” Hadriel hopped up. “Hang on there, Finley, my love. We have a visitor.”
“I don’t want any visitors, Hadriel,” Finley said.
“Don’t I know it. That’s why I have Leala guarding the door.”
A rush of chilled air blew through the space. A moment later, Hannon walked in with his usual calm, measured pace. He stopped between the galley and the table, facing Finley.
“Oh, it’s you,” she said, holding out a shallow bowl. “Good timing.”
“What’s going on?” Hannon looked her over as he took the bowl. Not seeing any wounds, he assessed my mother before turning to look at me. His eyebrows knotted. “What’s going on?” he asked again.
I’d only told my mother about Finley, who had of course told Delaney, but that was as far as it had gone. At the time, I hadn’t known about the euphoria. I’d just mentioned she might be late and it would be good for her to have someone knowledgeable around. Given Hannon had been left on the other ship, he clearly hadn’t heard the gossip from this one.
“I might have an affliction,” Finley said. “I have a very pushy mate-parent.”
Hannon took the bowl, glancing at my mother. “I don’t understand.”
“I might be pregnant, Hannon. This is the test that will tell me.” She moved toward the table. Toward me.
Hannon stared after her for one beat, and then color shed from him in waves, shimmering in the air around him. It was his magic. His power. Family connections brought it out in him. His drive for protecting his loved ones was even stronger than a dragon’s.