He pushed his finger and thumb into his eye sockets, pinching the bridge of his nose and reaching for patience. What he felt for Lauren was completely uncontrollable. The more he fought it, the worse it got.
Silently resolving to master himself, he held to his typical land speed of merely outrageous rather than testing the true limits of the car’s engine. That might denote desperation and he wasn’t quite there yet. He told himself.
To his surprise, Lauren was in the entryway shrugging a jacket over her shoulders. She froze as he entered. She had her boots on and an overnight bag at her feet, but a startled flash-fire of joy overrode her initial shock, sending a kick of emotion into his gut. The apprehension he’d been nursing fell away.
“I was going to email you and tell you to meet me at the penthouse. I thought you said you’d be home tomorrow.” She came forward to greet him with a kiss full of sensuous welcome. Her weight tilted into him so her bump nudged his stomach.
He wove his fingers into the warm strands of her hair, unable to stop himself from keeping her close so he could feast on her supple lips. Dio! It felt like it had been months.#p#????#e#
When she broke away, her face shone with excitement. “This works, too. We can drive in together,” she said breathlessly.
“I just got here.” He set his keys on the table so he could properly pull her close and absorb the feel of her. His equilibrium began to balance out.
“Yes, but—”
Paolo cut her off, kissing her with the hungry insistence that always melted her bones. Lauren was tempted. He ignited her blood, every time. But it was exactly that sensation of coming to life after days of flatness that made her draw back.
“I’m meeting someone,” she told him, and explained about reaching the woman who had known the man her grandmother had been seeing.
Paolo frowned. “Surely you can put that off?”
Lauren carefully extricated herself from Paolo’s firm grip. He looked drained and tired and she felt herself softening, but what happened the next time and the next? She had to start standing up for what she wanted. If he loved her, it might be different, but given the state of their marriage, she needed to establish emotional independence.
“I could,” she conceded, aware of crumpled hope sitting like litter in her heart. “But why should I?”
“Because your husband arrived home early and you’d prefer to catch up with him since he’ll be gone again later this week. She’ll understand and reschedule, I’m sure.”
Well, that answered that question. Lauren’s face hurt, trying not to react. She stared at the wall, already suffering the quiet desperation of his next absence. Something had to change. She had to fill her life with more than pining for her husband.
“I don’t want to wait,” she said tonelessly.
Paolo’s hands dropped away. “No? Perhaps I should have stayed in Switzerland then.”
“I thought you were staying in Switzerland. That’s why I made plans. When you make plans, do I get in the way of them?” she challenged.
“I’m well aware you don’t give a damn if I’m here or not, Lauren.”
“I never said that!” Her lungs felt as though glass dust poofed into them, but she couldn’t bring herself to pour out how forlorn she was without him. “Just because I know how to live around a man’s schedule doesn’t mean—”
“Stop throwing him in my face,” he cut in.
She jerked her head back. He had a very tight rein on his temper, she realized, and it ignited hers.
“Is that what I’m doing?” she asked shakily. “Because I thought I was explaining that after a lifetime of going along with everyone else, I’m taking one evening for myself. Which I invited you to come along on, but I’m retracting that. If you want to join me in Milan, you can follow in your own car.”
She shouldered her bag, shaking with anger that was a precious cover for the hurt that was crippling up her insides. He really did only want a bedmate not a lifemate.
“Don’t hold your breath, cara,” he said scornfully.
“Oh, I won’t. I’m equally aware that I don’t mean a damn thing to you beyond a sex partner and a vessel for your child.” So vulnerable she felt naked, she asked, “What do you want, Paolo? A wife who wheedles and begs for your affection? One who makes her husband the source of her self-esteem and happiness? You don’t want that burden any more than Ryan did and my pride won’t let me sink to those depths again.”