He missed the challenges she set out for herself on a daily basis, whether trying a new blend of spices, hiking in skunk-infested mountains, or jumping off into the unknown either on a zip line or in a new business venture.
And he missed the way she felt when he pulled her close so her head tucked just under his chin, or how her lips felt when he caressed them with his own.
“Dad?” Lily asked next to him. “Do you think we’re going to see Daisy and everyone again? I kind of miss them.”
It was as if he could read her thoughts—uh, well, most of them. “I miss them, too. Immensely.”
“Then how come we don’t just go see them? You don’t think she’s still mad at you, do you?”
He was stuck for a minute, because she made it sound so simple. Just go and say hi.
“I don’t know, Lil. I think that, right now, we all need some time.”
“Have you told her you were sorry? That you didn’t mean to mess things up with whatever idiotic thing you did?”
Idiotic thing? That’s right. It had been easier to say that rather than try to come up with any other kind of a solution. Not that it wasn’t far from the truth, now that he had the luxury of a few days to consider everything he could have done differently.
Like not pushing. Not being afraid that if he didn’t do everything he could for her that he might lose her.
He glanced back at his daughter, realizing she was still waiting. “Not yet.”
“Why not? Aren’t you sorry?”
It all came back around to that—whether he was sorry to get involved in Daisy’s life. Was he sorry that he tried to help her? No. Not at all. Was he sorry that he might have been a touch heavy-handed in giving her the help he thought she needed?
Maybe a little. Okay, maybe a lot more than that.
But it wa
s hard to sit back and watch the person you loved struggling, knowing that you could do something to help if they’d only let you.
God, he wished Lara was here so he could talk to her about this.
When she got sick, he’d told himself that he wanted to help, that he would take some time if he needed to be there to support her, even though he had just gotten on the city council and the demands were heavily weighing on his time. No one thought that things were that serious. The prognosis was optimistic. So when she refused to let him take any time away from his council duties, he’d maybe, quite possibly, been relieved.
She’d be okay, he told himself. She’d come around and there was no sense pulling back from something they both wanted, the policy and community outreach they both believed in.
But then she didn’t improve and things escalated so quickly that before he knew it, she was gone. And what he should have done, could have done for her, no matter how little, was too late.
His gut wrenched as it usually did when the guilt hit him. He should have done everything within his power to be there for her. Even if it was just sitting next to her during her treatments.
That was why it was so hard for him now to see Daisy struggle, knowing he could easily help her. Of course he realized the situations were different. Daisy wasn’t dying. She didn’t have some hidden disease that was going to sneak in and steal her away from him. But it didn’t make him feel that sense of helplessness any less.
So yes, he did lay it on a little thick. Maybe the car was too much. And so was having his accountant take on everything that Daisy wanted to do herself.
Could he learn to temper his eagerness more? If Daisy said no, refused his help, would he be okay with that?
To have her in his life? Of course.
And just because she wanted to do things on her own didn’t mean he risked losing her. He would still be present in other ways.
That’s what she needed. To be assured that he would be there, even if silently, to give her support.
He set his rod down. She’d pushed him away and he’d let her.
But not anymore. Not again. He would just have to show her that he wanted to be there—not only for her but her kids, too.
Those kids didn’t have a dad who made them feel like he wanted to be present in their lives. If the guy couldn’t meet his obligations, then Jack sure intended to—even though he didn’t consider it an obligation so much as a pleasure.