Which was completely ironic. Because here she was on the cusp of getting the promotion she’d been working on for five years—a step toward that judgeship she’d coveted so dearly for so long—and maybe even the love and commitment of the man she’d always wanted. Or thought she’d always wanted. And she didn’t care.
She thought of a future with Michael. The parties, the social events, the acceptance into the holy circle that she’d always wanted. The love of a man who she’d never thought could ever want her. And it sounded…empty. Just like this house. Empty and without any real meaning.
So contrary to the warmth and laughter and love she’d experienced in the time she’d known Dominic and his entire family. A family that had made her feel so at home. A part of something. Something real, just like her grams had had. She thought about the love she saw between Elena and Petter Sorensen. It was forever, and they had shared so much already and still had so much more to look forward to.
Something like she could have had with Dominic. But she’d lost her chance, if she’d ever had it in the first place. And she’d had to watch him walk away.
A sob from deep in her chest nearly choked her. What was she doing with her life? What did she want? You’d think a grown woman almost thirty would have a handle on that right now.
The only thing she was sure of, though, was that somehow everything had changed. What she wanted had changed.
And it might be too late for her to do anything about it.
Chapter Eighteen
Dinner Sunday evening was unbearable as Dominic rebuffed his family’s efforts at drawing him into the conversation. It was hard to miss the glances his sisters and mother kept sharing, the worried looks on their faces. But what could he tell them? The truth?
He looked at Daisy, who was already back to her bossy ways, ordering her kids to have at least two more bites before they were excused and even chastising their dad for not eating enough to keep up his strength. How would she take the news that he’d offered to pretend to be dating Kate so that he could bum free legal services on her behalf?
“Before you go, Dominic, remind me to give you Kate’s casserole dish. She left it here on Thanksgiving.”
He nodded. He could drop it off next time he was over.
Bites dutifully taken, the kids ran from the table and downstairs to watch television.
“How is Kate?” Benny asked, despite the warning glances their mom was giving. “I was hoping she might be here tonight. I wanted to talk to her about Christmas. If we’re drawing names for gifts again this year, I thought maybe we could have her name added, too.”
Oh, hell. He couldn’t have them placing her name in the hat to draw Christmas presents. He might as well grow a pair and own up to the truth. All of it.
When he was done, the room was eerily quiet. Then Daisy dropped her napkin on the table and pushed her chair out before fleeing the room and all hell broke loose, with everyone shouting at him at once. Even Cruz, who’d known about the ruse since almost the beginning, was sharing a piece of his mind at the insensitive way he’d finally spilled the beans. As if there’d been any way to make this better.
And he sat there and accepted their anger. Because it was nowhere near the anger he felt at himself.
Not for the charade itself, though.
No. But for the chickenshit way he’d taken off Friday. He’d been a coward. Too afraid to tell her how he really felt. Hadn’t even tried to throw his hat into the ring, but pulled it out entirely. Practically congratulated her on winning Michael back and gave her his blessing.
He should have been up front. Told her to forget about Michael.
Told her that he loved her.
And that she should choose him.
So the anger his family was throwing around helped in a way. He didn’t deserve to have anyone feel sorry for him. He deserved their anger and disgust. It echoed his own.
…
If Kate had thought last Monday was tough, waking up this morning and looking forward to a week without Dominic, a week knowing that a woman’s life and career might be in her hands, and a week with a car
eer-changing decision to be made at the end of it made her want to bury herself under the covers for another month.
Reaching the sanctity of her office, she slid behind her desk and stared down at the stupid DVD that had helped bring her walls falling around her. She didn’t know how long she sat there before Trish popped her head in to remind her she had an appointment in four minutes with Tim and Nicole to discuss their strategy on the case.
Kate was expected to deliver the outline of her argument for the summary judgment motion, but first she had something else that she had to get out of the way. Grabbing the DVD and stuffing it back into the envelope, she made her way to the small conference room already reserved for the powwow.
She wasn’t surprised to find Nicole seated and sipping coffee, a folder open in front of her. Tim hadn’t yet arrived.
“Morning,” Kate mustered as politely as she could manage. After everything that had happened with Michael on Friday, she hadn’t even thought about Nicole. Had he told her anything? Cautiously, she took a seat a few chairs away.