“You,” he says in disgust. “That’s how.” He tries to shake me free, but he is weak, even more so than me and I let him go.
“Fuck,” I say as the implications hit me. We had wondered how different he would be with me siring him after my Queen Power was given to me. He can walk in the sun, like Sebastian. I am still afraid to try it myself and have never taken my ring off. I suppose I probably can now. “What else?” I ask quietly. “What else have you tried?”
“Everything,” he says shortly. “Destroying you was my last effort, but as it turns out you are as indestructible as you think you are.” He hauls himself to his feet and staggers slowly to the bed. I know how he feels, I think grimly, as I watch him. I won’t offer to help him, as he will just reject me. “You can go away now,” he says as he flops down onto the bed.
“Cade,” I say, standing up myself. “You cannot live like this. You must get healthy.”
“Why do you even care?” he asks bitterly. “I betrayed you.”
“Yeah you did, and I am still here to help you,” I say as I sit gingerly next to him. I am no snob, but ergh, this place is rank.
“Don’t want help,” he slurs.
I close my eyes and sigh. He is starving himself as well by the sounds of it. “Cade, when was the last time you fed?”
He goes even grayer at my question and turns on his side away from me. “Don’t know,” he says.
Err, what? “Cade, please, you must feed. How can you prefer to be like this than strong and healthy?” I am at a loss. I have no idea how to handle him.
He turns back to me and regards me with unfocused eyes. “I don’t want to drink human blood, Liv.” He enunciates each word, so I get the point. “Why don’t you get that?”
“You are a Vampire!” I shriek at him as he gives me a scathing look. “You have to!” Yep that’s pretty much all I have in my repertoire. Nice going, idiot.
“I really don’t,” he replies and turns back onto his side.
“Cade,” I say, losing my patience. “This is ridiculous, enough is enough. You are going to drink, and you are going to come home with me. Now!” I prod him to make my own point.
“Don’t want to,” he says sullenly. “I am not a monster; I don’t want to live off people.”
“So just feed from me then,” I say suddenly. If that is his issue, that he doesn’t want to feed from humans, then I will have to do. Can’t say that I am fit enough for it at the moment, but I am just going to have to pull on my big girl panties and deal with it. I see that give him pause and I press the issue. “If you don’t want human blood, then just use me. It can be enough with the proper care, but Cade, you need to come home.”
He turns back to me and says, “You still look like Hell. What is the point in us both feeling like crap? Just forget about me and get yourself strong.”
“Don’t be a fool,” I say. “This martyr act has gone on long enough. I know you hate what I did to you. I know you hate what you are. I know you hate me, but it’s tough shit. It’s done. Man up!”
He blinks at me. “I don’t hate you,” he says. “I hate what you did, but I don’t hate you. I’m sorry about giving you to Remiel. I was desperate and he told me…”
“I know,” I say and take his hand awkwardly. Oddly enough, he lets me, and I take that as a good sign. He closes his eyes and looks a little less haggard. My presence here is already affecting him, but he needs to feed. There is no getting around that. “Will you drink?” I ask him tentatively.
He breathes in deeply. I am sure he is going to refuse so I give him no choice. I take my hand out of his and slit my wrist. His nostrils flare as he smells the blood and, hoping that I am no longer poisonous, I place it to his lips. Fortunately, I am also slow to heal as he doesn’t accept it at first, but then he grabs it and with a noise of revulsion he starts sucking. I can feel it affecting me, but I don’t push him away. He needs this more than I do. I have half a dozen people who will take care of me. He has no one else to look after him. Only me. His color starts to come back, and he no longer looks like he is at death’s door. He must feel the change go over him as he suddenly shoves my wrist away and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.
“We can do this,” I say to him. “I will take care of you.” I stroke his face and he turns into me content. It lasts all of about a second before he sits up and shies away from me. I snatch my hand back as he glares at it and I wonder what I did wrong.
“Don’t touch me like that,” he says fiercely. “Don’t ever touch me like that again.”
I bunch my hands into tight fists in my lap, my cheeks flaming in humiliation. I have been rejected plenty in my time, but never quite so vehemently and by my own charge no less. “Sorry,” I mumble, but I don’t know what I am apologizing for. I didn’t mean it in the way that he obviously thinks I did. It’s not like that. I don’t have feelings for him, I just want to look after him.
“I can’t do this,” he says as he turns from me again. He is slipping away, and I curse myself.
“Yes, you can. Cade, I won’t touch you like that again, but you need some contact with me. You are in bad shape,” I tell him. He isn’t convinced, so with cheeks burning brighter than the fires of Hell I add, “I don’t have feelings of desire for you, Cade. I don’t want you like that. Please, understand that.”
“Isn’t that how you are supposed to feel about those you turn?” he chokes ou
t.
I shake my head. “No, not all the time,” I say.
“You lie,” he accuses. “I see how you are with Devon and Cole; you can’t keep your hands off them.”