I shake my head and say, “No, I’ll do it myself.”
He nods and vanishes without another word, leaving a single red rose in his place. I pick it up and lean back again and sigh. One more thing to add to my “to-do” list: Save Remiel. Formerly out to kill him before he killed me, but now he needs saving. Oh, joy. How do I get myself into these situations?
Chapter 5
Buckinghamshire, England, March 2013 – Cole
He wakes up with his hand wrapped around himself. He often finds he wakes up this way when she isn’t here, in this big bed all alone. He hates it. He hates her being gone. He wishes there was a way that she could always be here with him. Just him. He is aching for her. It hurts, but he can’t tell her. She will feel bad and try to arrange to stay with him. That will lead to more bargaining and yet more secret promises that she has to make to him. Cole hates him. He hates him more than he hates being alone. He tolerates him in her presence, as no doubt Constantine does to him, but on the rare occasions they are alone, their mutual hatred shines through.
Fuck, he misses her. The ache gets worse as he thinks about her. It is this ache that caused him to nearly end up in bed with Tanya on Tuesday night. He wanted to do it, to fuck her so that the ache would ease, but also out of spite. He knew what Liv was doing. He didn’t have to think very hard on that and it pushed him to the brink of doing it. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. And that is why he is now in bed alone with his dick in his hand.
Thinking about his wife now, he strokes himself. He is already so hard it doesn’t take much to get him going. He thinks of her golden hair that falls to brush her nipples when she is naked. Her mischievous green eyes that hold a million promises, her luscious red lips the color of cherries. Ah, cherries. Her blood tastes just like them. Oh, fuck, her blood. He can feel his balls tighten and he comes with a soft moan that he smothers in the pillow as he spurts out all over her side of the bed. It still smells like her. That mix of lavender and J’adore perfume. Fuck, he misses her.
He groans in frustration and rubs his hands over his face. Why does she have to be so stubborn? Why couldn’t she just let them bring her back?
He glances at the clock; it’s only midnight. He has been asleep for an hour. He’s not even that tired. He always ends up in bed at her time even when she isn’t here. It’s ridiculous. God, he loves her. He loves her completely as his sire and he would do anything for her. He does do anything for her. He puts up with all of her demands because the alternative is too hard to think about. But he is in love with her as a woman, as his wife. She is so strong, and he likes that. He loves that she could kick his ass into next week, it is a major turn-on. So sexy. But when she is vulnerable and he can take care of her, that he loves even more. It makes him feel powerful and useful. This feeling of being inadequate around her is the only downside to being turned. If he could just embrace the life that she keeps harping on about, multiple lovers like she does, maybe it will make things easier. He has no shortage of women throwing themselves at him. He didn’t even before she turned him, but now he has to fight them off with a stick.
She doesn’t know, he has never told her that he could have fucked about a thousand times on her, but he just can’t do it. He thinks of his ex, Carolyn. She has been trying to contact him recently, although he hasn’t returned her calls. She looks like Liv, only not quite so beautiful. They had been together for a while when he had met Liv on that red carpet, and it was serious, but he knew it was over with her the second Liv smiled at him. Sure, he stayed on with her until the day after his first date with Liv, just in case. No point in burning bridges, but he called her the second he had a moment to himself to end it. He had never put much stock in love at first sight, but man oh man, did he fall like a lunatic for Liv that night. It was like it was meant to be just like in his dreams. He couldn’t even wait until the next day to call her. He just wanted to hear her voice again.
He sighs.
He is still torn in knots over the sex party. He didn’t go there to fuck the girl. He wanted to feed from her and watch his wife with her and then take Liv as the girl wat
ched. She made him do it, as ridiculous as that sounds, but once again he fell under her spell and did as she wanted him to do.
He closes his eyes to try and get back to sleep, but it doesn’t work. He can only see her beautiful face, and with an impatient sigh he gets up. He pulls on a pair of sweats and sits back down on the bed. He never slept naked before he met her. Now it is just the norm. It’s easier to take her in the middle of the night without clothes getting in the way. Every night that they lie in the same bed together, he just wants her. He watches her sleep and then he has to have her. Sometimes she doesn’t even wake up completely as she lies on her side while he thrusts inside her. As twisted as that sounds, he likes it.
He likes her helpless when he takes her. Fuck, he is such a pervert. She has turned him into a selfish, control-less pervert who fucks his wife while she’s half asleep. He stands up, disgusted with himself and pulls open the door. He needs to move and he’s thirsty. He wants cold water. That helps with the cravings. Liv uses wine and Scotch as her crutch, but he finds that cold water works for him. He wishes she would give in to her cravings. He would feel less bad about it if she did. He hasn’t drained a human since the other day on the Hunt and he probably won’t again until she accepts it. She says she has, but he knows that she hasn’t. In typical Liv fashion, they talked about it until she decided the subject was closed and that was the end of it. He loves that woman, but man, she can be so selfish. He doesn’t know if it is her age or that she is his sire or if that is just the way she is. He hopes it is her age. He doesn’t like to think of her as being that way naturally.
Mind you, the little he knows of her human years, he doubts she was anything but. It must have been that arrogant prick that made her that way. He doesn’t give a damn about anything or anyone except her. He would probably shoot his own mother in the face if she stood in his way. Makes Cole wonder then what Constantine was like as a human. Probably exactly as he is now.
He blinks and realizes he has been standing in the doorway with his thoughts. He moves forward and comes face to face with Jess as she creeps out of Devon’s room.
“Hey,” she starts in surprise as she sees him.
“Hi,” he says awkwardly as his eyes zero straight in on her tits. Her nipples are hard as pebbles as they strain against the flimsy fabric of her nightgown. He drops his gaze a little lower, it’s hard not to, to take in the expanse of her long legs and he lingers just a bit too long at the hem of the nightgown, which is barely covering her ass and, as a result, the front of her as well. “Err, I’m headed to the kitchen,” he mumbles, as his eyes return to her slightly amused face.
“Me too,” she says. “I need cold water. Have you noticed the cold water here is actually really, really cold?” she asks as they make their way down the stairs, him in just his sweats and her in her teeny, tiny nightgown that he wants to rip off her so he can fuck her here on the stairs. Oh, God, where did that thought come from? His dick gets hard again as he thinks about that and he struggles to focus on what she is saying, so he just nods. “And another thing, how come I can tell the water is actually cold? I mean if it were to hit me in the face, I wouldn’t feel it, but in my mouth, it is delicious.”
Oh, boy. What is she saying about her mouth?
“Cole?” she prompts him with a shoulder bump, and he clears his throat.
“Uh, I don’t know,” he says. “I also wondered that. I suppose we could ask.”
“Yeah, I don’t think so,” she says, wrinkling her cute little nose. “I feel so stupid sometimes, like I am supposed to know these things.”
“I know what you mean,” he agrees with her, and she smiles as she pushes the kitchen door open.
“It’s nice to know that I am not the only one. I find it difficult being around them. They are so much older than me. Us. They have all lived these long, interesting lives and I’m just me. Boring and plain,” she says.
“You are anything but boring and plain,” he says to her with a smile, which lights up her eyes. He realizes that she fished for the compliment as he knows she finds him attractive. It would be so easy to take her right now. He doesn’t find her that hot. Well, yeah, she’s hot, but he definitely prefers his wife’s looks. Devon has his thing with tall, big-breasted brunettes with eyes like his. Cole has his petite blondes with eyes the color of emeralds, which unfortunately coincides with her sire’s taste in women. That thought dampens any sexual thoughts he was having. Jess hands him a glass of cold water and he takes it with a nod of thanks.
“I find it helps with the cravings,” she says as she takes a big gulp.
“Me too,” he states in surprise and she grins.
“I don’t get the whole alcohol thing they have. How Devon can stomach that much Bourbon in one sitting is beyond me. It tastes disgusting.”