He has thrown me off guard with his statement. I was expecting a massive brawl about it. Trust him to turn the tide and make me feel bad.
“I don’t know how to respond to that,” I say. “It is getting off topic. There has to be another way we can arrange this so that everyone is happy.”
“There isn’t,” he says, and I think that is the true end of this discussion when he adds, “I am unhappy with this arrangement as well, you know. There is only one way that I will be ever be happy and that is to have you to myself full time.” I ponder that miserably as we sit in silence, which he breaks by saying, “Besides, you now have another arrangement which requires you to be here. Unless you want to fill him in on that.”
“You know I can’t do that,” I say quietly.
“Well then, this whole discussion is redundant. Can we please get back to our pleasant picnic now?”
“He is determined to find a way,” I press. “If he comes up with an idea, please just be open to listening to it, for me?”
“And what about Sebastian?” he asks coldly.
“I will honor that arrangement but if I have to change the terms, then so be it.”
“Fine. If he comes up with an idea, I will listen, but I am not promising anything, Aefre. Let me make that perfectly clear to you now.”
“That’s all I ask,” I say, taking his hand. “Thank you.”
He nods stiffly and I know his playful mood from before is long gone. I have doused it by reminding him not only of Cole, but Sebastian as well. How can I ever tell him about this Fae thing? I can’t. He will never in a million lifetimes understand or accept it. I can only hope that Drake never shows his face and that her life never becomes mine.
“You are looking tired, we should go inside, and you can take a nap,” he says briskly.
“Only if you take one with me,” I say.
“It is a difficult request to deny but if I get into the same bed with you, there will be no napping involved,” he says with a great effort to smile at me and I love him for trying.
“No one said we had to wait until tonight,” I say as I shuffle closer to him and put my hands on his tense shoulders.
“I said we do,” he snaps at me and I pull my hands back like I have been scalded, folding them in my lap and cursing myself for ruining the mood. “I’m sorry,” he says with
a deep sigh, taking my hands in his. “I didn’t mean to be harsh. There is more to it than just wanting not to rush. Although, that is a big part of it, there is another small part of me that can’t bear to be with you right now,” he says so softly. “I need a bit more time.”
My mouth drops open at his admission. “Oh,” I say, not having anything else in my repertoire to add.
“Please don’t take that personally,” he says, gripping my hands tighter as he registers my tone and expression. “It is my issue to deal with and I won’t let it get in the way of our time together tonight or again for that matter. Just give me a bit longer to get used to the idea that you and Sebastian have been together in the way that you have today, okay?”
I nod hesitantly and he smiles.
“Thank you. It is more difficult than I realized to share you with him. That the next time I see him, he will have known you like I know you. Vegas was…nothing, and the others matter not as they are yours and nothing to do with me, but Sebastian…and this…” he indicates the castle behind him. “I will find it hard to look at him and you in a room together for a while. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I say, even though I am thinking “Vegas was nothing”? Maybe not to him, the arse.
He nods gratefully. “Then let’s get you to bed for a bit. I need you awake and happy later.”
“Will you at least stay with me? You can read or work? I don’t want to be apart from you anymore than I have to be.”
He gathers up the folders but leaves everything else for the staff to deal with. The sun is disappearing, and the clouds are gathering, almost as if they are responding to the change in our moods. The wind gusts and I shiver, feeling the chill. He hands me my shoes and helps me stand. Wrapping his arms around me, he Teleports us to our bedroom and says, “Yes, I will stay with you.”
He tucks me into bed, and I watch him as he stretches out next to me with his work.
“Sleep,” he says with a sidelong glance.
“I’d rather watch you. You are the most handsome man I have ever come across, even more so when you think no one is looking at you and you relax.”
“I don’t like people staring at me,” he says.
“I’m not just people. I am your wife,” I say, stifling a yawn.