quite agitated by this hideous conversation I never thought I would be having with my perfect, calm, controlled husband.
“Then I will find out. Case closed,” he says as he stalks off back to the bedroom and I watch him go.
“I’ve failed you,” I whisper to his back, so low that I didn’t want him to hear me, but he does, and he spins.
“Is that what you think? Because I want to give in to the urges that tear me up inside, what you said was the basest part of ourselves, you think you have failed me? Do you know how difficult it is to be this controlled? I have tried because it is what you want for me, but it isn’t what I want. I have failed you.”
I shake my head. “No, you haven’t. I just wish you could have told me all of this…all of this,” I gesture widely, meaning the whole of this afternoon’s goings-on. “I could have helped you sort it out.”
“I didn’t want to bother you. You have enough to worry about.” He shrugs.
“But nothing is more important than you.”
“Except Devon and Constantine and Lincoln and this stupid Lance fucker,” he says.
“No, baby. If you needed me as your sire, you should have told me and when you need me as your wife you have to remind me of my priorities. I am easily distracted.”
“Yeah, no shit,” he says, but with humor.
“I love you,” I say.
“I love you. Are you going to help me? Or do I need to start asking awkward questions to the others?”
“I will help you,” I say, dying just a little bit inside. “Just let me wrap my head around it, okay?”
He nods. “Of course. Take your time. Not too much though,” he adds.
Chapter 24
Sunday rolls around after a very long Saturday night. I refuse to see anyone, and Cole is happy to turn everyone away. I can’t stop thinking about what he has asked me to do. What he wants to do. It’s unthinkable. But then I must remember what I was like, and Devon, and most especially CK. We were all killers. It was what we were. Just because we, or at least I – I couldn’t say for sure about the other three, has evolved doesn’t mean that Cole should or can even. He is so much younger than the rest of us, I forget. I always forget. I heave a big sigh as the door goes again.
“What is it?” I snap at CK, who is standing there leaning casually against the door frame as he often does. He knows it makes him look sexy as fuck.
“I thought we were going to see Ahmed and Corinne?” he queries.
“I still want to go on my own.”
“Sorry, my sweet. Not going to happen.” He peers at me closely. “Something is amiss? Did you have another encounter? I told you to tell me if It showed back up.”
“No. He didn’t come back. It’s...nothing.”
“Tell me, my love. You are upset.” He takes my hand and I want nothing more than to fall weeping into his arms and for him to tell me it will be fine and that he will fix the problem.
“I am okay,” I say instead. I turn and walk into the sitting room and he follows, knowing I am lying but leaves it as Cole comes over to kiss me goodbye.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with?”
“No, I need to speak to Corinne alone. I will hurry back though. Don’t do anything about that thing we talked about yesterday while I am gone, promise?”
“I promise. I said I would give you some time.”
CK is watching this exchange with interest and I have no doubt in my mind he knows exactly what we are talking about as he takes my hand and looks at me knowingly.
I nod at Cole and close my eyes, picturing myself back in Corinne’s study. I open my eyes as CK squeezes my hand and we have arrived at our destination. Although, the room is empty.
“I wondered how long it would take. I will take him. You shouldn’t have to be a part of it if it upsets you,” he says quietly.
I stay silent, not wanting to discuss it, but also shocked that he offered. I know he isn’t Cole’s biggest fan, but there again it probably has more to do with his Vampire side than his personal one.