“Yes, my love. Are you still tired? I should try to do more to help you, but I am a bit useless.” He leans over the crib and plucks up a tiny squirming bundle draped in a white blanket. “There, there,” he croons and comes closer. “She’s hungry.”
“What?” I say as he hands me the tiny child. “What am I supposed to do?”
Fraser chuckles at me. “You really are tired, aren’t you, my love? She had you up all night. I will be better for you. I will be a better husband, a better father.” He reaches over and undoes the lacing on my gown. “Feed her now, Emmie. She will quieten down.”
I look down in horror as he pulls out my breast and pushes the baby towards me. The baby latches onto me like it’s never been fed, and I feel, complete. “Oh,” I say in wonder but then think how is this possible. But I feel different, I feel slow and calm. I feel human. Am I human? I know I am Emily, I can see that by my long curling hair and the size of my breasts, so how is this possible? Any of it?
“Perfect,” Fraser says to me with a big smile. “You are just perfect. But it has been a few days now. She needs a name.”
A name? “Aefre,” I say at once.
“Ah-vuh?” he repeats with a frown.
“Yes, where I come from it means ’forever.’”
“Where you come from? Emily, you come from England.” He chucks me under the chin. “Where they speak English.”
“No, the Old language, of my ancestors,” I insist.
“Well, it is pretty, and I like the meaning. Forever. Forever ours.”
“Ours,” I say. “I love you, Fraser.”
“I love you, Emmie. You have made me the happiest man on earth. Have I given you everything you ever wanted?”
“Yes,” I reply.
“Aefre! Aefre! Wake up.” This time, I know it is Constantine that is calling to me.
“What?” I say groggily.
“You were dreaming again. You were dreaming of…”
“Fraser,” I say as I turn away from him, noticing that I am in his bed.
“Was it the same?” he chokes out. “Except with him?”
“Yes. Better. No, I mean, worse.” As I turn back to him and see his pained expression. “I know it isn’t real,” I say sadly. “It hurts.” I brush back the tears not wanting to cry over it in front of him.
“I know, my love. Whatever this is, it’s trying to hurt you. We will get to the bottom of it. I promise you.”
I nod and get up out of his bed. “I just want a few minutes to myself,” I say as I pull on a robe. He nods stiffly as I grab my phone and leave his bedroom for mine. I call Cole.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey, baby,” I say back and sit on my old bed.
“What are you doing?” he asks cautiously.
“Sitting on my old bed, ready to go to sleep,” I tell him with a small smile.
“Oh?” he says in surprise. “Hang on.”
He switches our call to FaceTime, and I smile at him as he sees me, indeed, sitting on my old bed in my robe.
“Do I want to know?” he asks quietly.
I shrug. “Weird dreams,” I say shortly. He doesn’t need to know the details of my Fraser dream. “It’s getting serious. I think I have seen Lance, twice now.”