“Starts with a W rhymes with bitch.” I shake the sweat out of my hair like a dog and accept the towel he hands me, wrapping it around the back of my neck. I head to the mini fridge he keeps in his office and grab a bottled water. “We’re friends, right?”
He shoots me a funny look. “What kind of question is that?”
“Can I ask you something kind of personal?”
“All right. Shoot.”
“Has anyone ever told you that your shit felt lumpy?”
“My shit? What the fuck you talking about?”
“Your dick. I was fucking around with Shiloh and cunt said my dick felt weird. I checked my stick and berries but didn’t see or feel anything. Then that witch bitch grabbed my junk and said more weird shit in Latin or something. I think she put a spell on my dick.”
He busts out laughing but stops when he sees he’s alone in his reaction. “Are you for real?”
“Would I fucking tell you something so god damn personal if I was joking?”
“Fucking hell. A hex on your dick. That’s a new one.”
“Shit ain’t funny.”
“You gotta admit it’s kind of fucking funny, bro. Want me to look at it?”
“Fuck no.”
“Andi was here for Zumba. Do you want me to track her down? Have her give you an exam?”
“What the hell is she going to do?”
“She’s in nursing school or some shit,” he reveals with a shrug.
“Fuck it. Yeah, bring her in here.” I need an unbiased professional opinion.
“Do you have a first-aid kit?” I hear Andi coming into the room behind Viking. “What’s the medical emergency?” She glances between the two of us, confusion etched on her face as she frowns. Her blonde hair is styled into some braids and a ponytail like she’s about to go raiding with Vikings, but I keep the observation to myself. I need her to tell me my dick will be okay.
I drop my shorts and my boxer briefs.
“Penis,” she screeches, throwing a palm up to shield her eyes. “A little warning would be nice.”
“So...” I cup my junk. “Does it look okay?”
Her hand lowers slowly and she looks quickly before turning her back on me. “I mean it’s kind of angry. What did you do to it?”
“A witch cursed his dick,” Viking says, unable to keep a straight face. The asshole.
“A curse?” She spins around. “Do you mean Bianca?” her gaze darts straight to my cock. “Put it away.” Her hands go up again. “Why did she curse your dick?” Like Viking she barely gets the words out before erupting with laughter as I pull my shorts back up.
“You know it’s very offensive to laugh when a man shows you his pork and beans.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t.” Andi shakes her head with red creeping up her neck and spreading across her cheeks. “Whew.” She lets out a breath. “Um. No. You’re right. I apologize.” She clears her throat. “What seems to be the problem?”
“Shiloh called it lumpy.” Viking chuckles.
“Lumpy?” Andi parrots.
“I was trying to get a blow job, and I was thinking about your witch friend. Bitch has been in my head for days. My shit wouldn’t get hard. It was semi hard. And that cunt said my dick felt weird. Then I saw Bianca again and she grabbed my dick and said something weird in another language. She’s cursed my dick, I’m telling you.”
“Okay...but what am I supposed to do about it? You’ll have to ask her to remove the curse.”
“I was afraid you’d say that.”
“Sounds like a personal problem.”
“Smart ass,” I grumble.