I sigh and shrug. “More or less. There were some good times when I was little. My mother was okay when she was between men, but then she’d get with a new one and things would go off the rails. She’d do everything for them, and they’d treat her like shit. After a few months or a few years, when a guy moved on, she’d find another one just like him.
“It doesn’t make any sense,” I say, “because my mother owns her house. It’s not like she needs a man to take care of her, and it’s usually the opposite, like with Bill. The guys she’s with take money from her while they keep her under their thumb. I don’t see what she gets out of it.”
“Some people seem to get into a pattern of abusive relationships. Did she grow up seeing a relationship like that?” Devin asks.
“Not that I can tell, but it seems my older sister, Danielle, has followed in her footsteps. She moved away as soon as she graduated and shacked up with a nasty guy who controls her every move.”
The pattern’s going to end with me. No man is going to take over my life and tell me what to do.
“What about your father?” Shane asks.
“I never knew him,” I say. My mother’s never told me anything about my father. The only thing I do know is that Rachel and I were fathered by different men, but I don’t mention that to Shane and Devin. They’ve heard enough of my sordid tale already.
“Growing up, couldn’t you have reported the abuse to your school or to a relative?” Shane asks.
“She didn’t beat us. I’m not sure her behavior is the kind of thing that really counts as ‘take your kids away’ abuse, and even if it did, where would we have gone — into foster care? That might have been worse.”
Neither of them says anything in response, but Devin takes my hand in both of his and rubs the back of it in a way that soothes me.
At the house, I take a shower that I didn’t have time for earlier, and then devote my attention to expanding my apartment search. I’m determined to find something, even if it’s farther away than I’d been previously considering.
I don’t want Rachel going back to our mother’s house, and I can’t keep imposing on the men’s generosity, not when there are two of us. Also, I don’t want the men to have to deal with Bill and my mother again, on the off chance that they’re stupid enough to come back.
Since I last looked for apartments, two new possibilities are listed in Whitman and, amazingly, one is available on the island. I find Shane and Khalil in the office, but before I can tell them I’m going out, Shane speaks first.
“I’m going to go to work with you tonight,” he says in a tone that’s far too matter of fact for my liking.
“Why is that?” I ask, even though I know he’s still in overprotective, bodyguard mode.
“In case your mother bothers you there. I’ll go tonight; Khalil will go in with you tomorrow. We’ll set up a schedule.”
“No, no, no, no, no,” I say, cutting him off. “You are not going to do that. My mother’s apparently known I worked there for a while and she’s never come in. If she did, and on the off chance there was something I couldn’t handle, Barrett’s usually there, and one of the bartenders, Tom, is a big, imposing guy.”
Shane frowns. “I’d feel better being there, making sure.”
“And I’d feel better not having a babysitter.”
Khalil almost grins, but he also looks concerned.
“Anyway, I just came to tell you I’m going out,” I say, turning for the door. “There are a couple of new apartment leads, and I’m going to check them out before they’re snatched up.”
“What?” Shane’s voice is booming. “You can’t get an apartment now. You and your sister won’t be safe.”
“Becca, we love having you here, and your sister can stay too,” Khalil says, sounding much more reasonable, but also aiming to be persuasive.
“We’ll be perfectly fine,” I say, “and while I have appreciated being able to stay here, it was never meant to be long term.”
“I won’t let you go, Becca,” Shane says, grabbing my arm before I make it out of the room.
I turn hard, twisting out of his grasp. “You won’t let me? Tell me I didn’t just hear you say that.”
49
Dick dizzy
“You should stay, Becca. It’s not a good idea to rush off now,” Khalil says.
“You barely know me,” I tell both of them, “and, all of a sudden, you think you know what’s best for me? Just because we’ve had some good sex doesn’t make you my caretakers, and it sure as hell doesn’t make you the boss of me.”