"We need to talk, Amanda."
She sees the frown on my face and starts to fidget. “What is it? What’s going on?”
The only way to get it out is to blurt it. "We want different things, Amanda. I don't think that this is going to work between the two of us."
Even though she's standing perfectly still, it's as if she clutches at her chest as if I've hit her or something. She shakes her head, not understanding. "It's not like I had proposed marriage to you or anything, Chance."
And that just further instills in me that I'm making the right decision. She doesn't see a future between us. “We've had a good time, but there’s no future between us. I have to go. I have to get back to the ranch," I tell her.
I turn to go, and I hear her sob behind me. When I get to the door, I turn to look at her, and there are tears falling down her face. It kills me that I've hurt her, and the only thing that lets me walk out the door is to know that this is the best thing in the long run. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.
Chapter 14
Amanda
My legs buckle as he walks out the door. I've never felt this kind of hurt before in my life. I sob uncontrollably, and only once I get myself together do I walk to the front door and lock it, turning off the open sign. I walk through the bookstore and up to my apartment and throw myself on the bed. I lie there sobbing. I don't understand, none of this makes sense. After last night, there's no way I could have mistaken how he felt about me then. He was too caring, too loving, too everything. Now he just walked away, dropped a bombshell, and walked out of my life. It's only later that night when I'm able to finally pull myself together that I convince myself that maybe he has cold feet. Maybe he'll change his mind. And yeah, I'll give him hell about it and make him sweat. But of course, I'm going to take him back because I love him.
But hours turn into days.
Days turn into weeks.
There's no contact from him whatsoever. Until today. I saw him in town. He froze and then turned the other direction.
I ran all the way back to the bookstore and straight back to my apartment and cried so hard I was sick. As I make a mad rush to the bathroom and as I'm heaving over the toilet, it hits me. I know exactly what is wrong with me.
I missed my period. I'm pregnant.
As luck would have it, later the same day, Hailey comes into the bookstore. She takes one look at me, and I can't help it; I start to cry all over again. I haven't had anybody to talk to. These last few weeks, I've missed my mom more than ever. Hailey opens her arms, I run into them, and she holds me until the tears finally stop flowing. She leans back and takes a tissue to wipe my face. "Talk to me, tell me what's wrong. It’s my idiot brother-in-law."
I shake my head and sniffle. "It's not his fault. You can't help who you love, and I guess it's better that I find out now than later."
Hailey shakes her head like she doesn't understand. "He's miserable, though. If you think you feel bad, you should see him. He looks awful. He yells at everybody. He's always in a bad mood, and he doesn't go anywhere. If he's not at the ranch, he's at home. None of the brothers can even get him to talk.”
I refuse to get my hopes up. It was all pretty cut and dried when he walked out of here. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. "There's more, Hailey."
"Tell me, tell me so we can fix it."
I pull from her arms and start to pace back and forth. "I think I'm pregnant. No, I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant."
Hailey smiles widely at me. “Oh wow, that's amazing. Congratulations."
She barely gets the words out then I start to cry again. And then once again, she gathers me in her arms, holding me while I cry. She tells me soothingly over and over as she runs her hands through my hair, "It's going to be okay, Amanda. Everything is going to work out."
I look at her skeptically. "I'm pregnant, and the father of my child wants nothing to do with me. I don't see how it's going to work out."
"Are you going to tell him?" she asks me, and when I don’t immediately answer her, she nods her head. "Amanda, you have to tell him. He needs to know."
I lift my shoulders in a shrug. "Why? He doesn't want me, but you know the type of man he is. If he knows I'm pregnant, he's going to think he has to do the right thing. I don't want someone with me just because they feel they have to."