And yet as he shifted toward her with another ripe strawberry held by its fluffy green crown, she found the fruit was too much to resist. Parting her lips, she waited, as she had learned to wait, for him to bring the food to her.
Several of the bright red berries had failed to meet his rigorous requirements, having been set aside on the edge of the tray. The same had been true for some of the slices of freshly cooked turkey, as well as parts of the green salad. The rice had all passed muster, however, as had the delicious sourdough bread rolls.
"Here," he murmured. "This is a good one. "
No'One watched him watch her as she accepted what he provided. He was singularly focused on her consumption - in a way that was both touching and a source of fascination. She had heard of males doing this. Had even caught sight of her parents in such a ritual, her mother seated to the left of her father at the dining table, him inspecting each plate and bowl and glass and cup afore it was sent in her direction by him personally, rather than by the staff - provided the food was of high enough quality. She had assumed the practice was a quaint holdover from some earlier time. Not so. This private space here with Tohrment was the basis of exchanges such as that. In fact, she could imagine aeons ago, in the wild, a male returning with something freshly killed and doing likewise.
It made her feel. . . protected. Valued. Special.
"One more?" he said again.
"You shall make me fat. "
"Females should have meat on their bones. " He smiled in a distracted way as he picked up a plump berry and frowned at it.
As his words resonated, she did not take them to mean he thought her wanting in any fashion. How could she, when he had done nothing but pick through perfectly good food and weed out what he did not think was worthy enough for her?
"A last one, then," she said softly, "and then I must decline all other offerings. I am full to bursting. "
He tossed the berry aside with the other rejects and snagged another, and whilst he all but growled at the poor thing, his stomach let out an empty howl.
"You must needs eat as well," she pointed out.
The grunt she got back was either grudging approval of the second berry or agreement - likely the former.
As she bit down and chewed, he rested his arms in his lap and stared at her mouth as if he were prepared to help her swallow if he had to.
In the quiet moment, she thought, oh, how he had changed since the summer. He was so much bigger - impossibly so, his once large body now absolutely mammoth. And yet he had not swollen up unattractively, his muscles expanding to this outer limit without any coating of fat upon them, his form pleasing to the eye in its proportion. His face had remained lean, but it was no longer drawn, and his skin had lost the gray pallor she had not recognized until color bloomed anew in his cheeks.
The white streak remained in his hair, however, evidence of all he had been through.
How often did he think of his Wellesandra? Was he as yet dwelling upon her?
Of course he was.
As her chest ached, she found it difficult to draw breath. She had always had sympathy for him, her pain receptors firing up when he was in extremis sure as if his loss was her own.
Now, though, she had a different kind of agony behind her sternum.
Mayhap it was because they were closer still now. Yes, that was it. She was commiserating with him at an even deeper level.
"Done?" he said, his face tilting to the side, the lamplight hitting it with gentle kindness.
No, she was wrong, she thought as she dragged another breath in.
This was not commiseration.
This was something altogether different from caring about another's suffering.
"Autumn?" he said. "You okay?"
Staring up at him, she felt a sudden chill tickle the skin of her forearms and skitter across her bare shoulders. Under the warmth of the covers, her body shimmied in its own flesh, going cold and then flushing with heat.
Which was what happened, she supposed, when your world was turned upside down.
Dearest Virgin Scribe. . . she was in love with him.
She had fallen in love with this male.