He cracked his lids. He should have known she'd have a bead on where he was at - symphath abilities aside, she knew him as no one else did. And now, as he met her gunmetal gray eyes, a stab of sadness nailed him in the chest.
He really didn't want to talk about it, though. They had too little time together.
He kissed her deep and long, figuring that was the best kind of distraction for both of them - and it worked. As her tongue met his, he began moving inside of her again, the long strokes taking him out to the brink, then easing him in all the way. The rhythm was slow but inexorable, and he, too, got swept away to a place where his head quieted down.
The release was a gently cresting wave this time, and he rode it out with a kind of desperation.
When it had passed, as all orgasms did, he became acutely aware of the distant, muffled pounding of music, and the clipping of heels out in the hall, and the far-off ringing of a cell phone.
"What's wrong?" she said.
As he disengaged their bodies, he noticed that they were both mostly dressed. When was the last time they'd been fully naked?
Jesus. . . it had been during that period of bliss after their mating. Which seemed like a distant memory. Maybe about another couple.
"Did everything go okay with Wrath tonight?" she asked as she pulled up her pants. "Is that what it is?"
His brain struggled to focus, but fortunately, his hands were working just fine, and not only to get his button fly done up. Yeah, the meeting went okay. Hard to judge, though. The glymera are all about appearances.
"Mmm. " She never had much to say about things involving the Brotherhood. Then again, given where they stood about her fighting, he was surprised she brought his work up at all.
How's it going for you tonight? he signed.
She picked up something that she'd been lying on, a little baggie. "We have a new drug dealer in town. "
He caught what she tossed over, frowning at the symbol stamped on the cellophane. What the hell? This is. . . the Old Language.
"Yup, and we have no clue who's behind it. But I promise you this, I'm going to find out. "
Let me know if I can help.
"I got this. "
I know.
The stretch of silence that rang out served to remind him of where they were - and were not.
"You're right," she said abruptly. "I haven't had you to my house on purpose. It's hard enough to have you leave me from here. "
I could stay with you. I could move in, and -
"Wrath would never allow it - rightfully so, I might add. You're a very valuable commodity to him, and my cabin is hardly as secure as the mansion. Besides, what the hell would we do with Qhuinn? He deserves a life, too - and at least where you stay he has some autonomy. "
Alternate days, then.
She shrugged. "Until that becomes not enough? John, this is what we have - and it's better than a lot of people get. You don't think Tohr would kill to be able to - "
It's not enough for me. I'm greedy, and you're my shellan, not just a booty call.
"And I can't go back to the mansion. I'm sorry. If I do, I'll end up hating them - and you. I'd like to pretend I can self-actualize this shit away, and be all, 'I'll just do me,' but I can't. "
I'll talk to Wrath -
"Wrath's not the issue. They take their cues from you. All of them. "
When he didn't reply, she came up to him, put her palms on his face, and stared into his eyes. "This is the way it has to be. Now go so I can close up. And come back to me first thing tomorrow night. I'm already counting down the minutes. "
She kissed him firmly.