“Hey, we don’t have to do this,” he tells me and that makes me feel even worse.
I reach up and rest my wrists around the back of his neck. “I want to,” I tell him honestly. I’m scared and I don’t tell him that, but I truly and deeply want him. More than anything, I want him to have me any way I can give myself to him.
“You know I love you even if you don’t want to?” he tells me, saying words I’ve wanted to hear for so long, as if they’re natural to us. My chest warms with something I can’t describe. I’m too vulnerable and emotional when it comes to Nathan, but it’s all for him and I’ll never hold anything back.
“Take two!” Stevens yells from my right, off the set and sitting in an oversized chair a few feet off the ground. From the corner of my eye, I can see the cameras panning and moving slowly as I stalk across the set. Letting my fingers trail along the hotel dresser, I continue the take.
It’s supposed to be a cheap hotel and I lift up my fingers, circling my thumb along my pointer and middle finger, as if there was debris or dust along the wooden top before moving my eyes to Nathan.
It’s our fourth scene today and we have two more after this.
The metal case in my hand is heavy. Earlier it was light because it was empty, but now it’s filled with money I owe him. My lips curl into a smile as the irony dawns on me.
That we’re playing parts, and he’s blackmailing me.
I pick up the case and lay it on the dresser as I hear the bed creak, knowing he’s getting up and walking toward me, although my character doesn’t. I keep my eyes on the case and the clicks of the locks fill my ears as my thumbs slide the locks back.
He comes up behind me just as I open it, wrapping his hands around the back of my neck and my hip.
“It’s all there?” he asks in a deep, rough voice I love. His hand is hot on my neck, commanding and I welcome it.
Out of instinct, my head falls back and my eyes slowly meet his. I swear my heart beats slower, or maybe it’s just that time has slowed.
“It’s all there,” I murmur and my voice is soft, low, and full of emotion and I question it, wondering if it’s loud enough for the mics. But the look in Nathan’s eyes silences me.
My character has fallen in love, even though it means she’s dead, but she’s not the only one.
“Cut!” Stevens yells out and the dozen or so people standing just off the set clap as the lights slowly flicker on. “That’s a wrap!”
The diner scene is next, but it’s only a small part for me. I just need to walk by the window, sneaking a look in. Nathan will be shooting it until they get it perfect though. Handing off the money and getting each and every detail right.
Nathan relaxes his hands, although the one at my hip grips me first, forcing me to look at him. I have to blush as we share a glance. He’s proud. I know that’s the look in his eyes. It has to be. I clear my throat as I close the case and lock it. Everyone’s already moving around us on the set and taking things down. These scenes are done and we’re on to the next, no stopping or breaks. It’s tough going from one to the next and so on, but I love it.
“Nathan,” Jim, an assistant director and the man in charge of stunts, walks onto the set and steals Nathan away. He’s just a few feet from me, but I feel robbed. I want that scene to continue. I want so much more right now.
I imagine Stevens will have me go first so I can be done for the day. It’s been twelve hours of shooting so far today. Between these heels and all of the tension between Nathan and me, I’m ready for bed.
I wouldn’t mind watching him though. The thought of doing just that makes me turn around and lean against the dresser, watching as he talks to one of the supporting directors. The young guy is animated and excited about the next scene. There’s an explosion and I’d bet he’s been waiting on it all day.
Now that the sun is setting, it’s time for the big bang, so to speak.
I rock on my toes as I clear my throat, patiently waiting for Nathan to be done. He glances at me as I look at him and it makes me smile a bit. With a blush coloring my cheeks, I stretch out my shoulders but then look forward to see a group of women talking. Four of them huddled in a circle, and one is ballsy enough not to avert her glance as she covers her mouth and continues to talk.