“You gotta go home.” I almost say her name, but I don’t. I hate how it makes her flinch, but I do love the way it feels on my tongue.
“I can go where I want to,” she bites back and looks up at me with a sharpness I didn’t see coming.
I can tell her she doesn’t belong down here, but she already knows.
I can tell her I don’t want to walk with her, but that’s a lie and I’m not sure she really gives a shit.
I can tell her I want her to come back to my room and I’ll teach her how to play. But that’s just taking advantage of the sweet little thing she is. Isn’t it?
“You just won’t quit, will you?” I ask her.
A trace of a smile plays at her lips and then she slowly shakes her head, making her backpack sway along with her dirty blonde hair. “Nope.”
My head shakes in frustration as I look back down my street. The city’s on a hill and the top, where we are now, isn’t so bad. There’s a nice park nearby and up the street are some pretty rich housing areas. But the closer you get to the bottom, to where the houses for the steel mill workers were first built, the houses aren’t the nicest, to say the least. That’s where I live. It’s littered with five-and-dimes and liquor stores. And nothing else but where we live.
And I don’t want her there.
The shame is something I didn’t expect.
“Ha—Hally,” I give her a nickname on the spot. “Let’s go this way,” I tell her and splay my hand on her lower back, sliding it under her bookbag. At first, she looks like she’s going to protest, but she accepts it.
She likes my hand on her. She likes the nickname I gave her. She likes me.
There’s no cure for the sickness she gave me that day by letting me lead her away from where I grew up. If she’d listened to me, who knows where we’d be now. But Hally doesn’t listen and as much as she pushed me, I pushed her right back.
* * *
Knock! Knock! Knock! The obnoxious sound of repeated banging on my door pulls me back into the present.
It pisses me off more than anything else.
The door opens quickly, hurriedly, but I stay still in my seat, grinding my teeth with frustration. I watch as Julie opens the door, allowing the sounds of the set to flood into the small room before closing it quickly behind her.
She doesn’t wait for me to turn around. She doesn’t wait for shit before saying, “Please tell me you aren’t doing it on purpose?” It’s not a question though.
“Hello to you too,” I say as I turn in my seat to face her. I feel wound tightly, the memory begging me to come back to it.
“I’m doing my best to believe that you aren’t completely sabotaging my role, but what happened today is complete horseshit, Hart.”
A rough sigh leaves me as I run a hand through my hair and look at the mini fridge rather than at her. I already feel like shit, but the worst part is that I just can’t bring myself to care about the production. It makes me a dick, but again, I just don’t care.
“You’re going to get fired–or worse, get me fired,” she says and it irritates me. “Don’t think I don’t know that you were the first choice. Stevens has a hardon for you but I’m replaceable. I’m not naïve, Nathan. If you wanted a different costar all you had to do was say so, but now we’re in production and it’s known that I’m on this project.”
“You’re fine, Jules. No one’s firing you,” I tell her as I stand up to go to the door and let her out. I’m not interested in this shit.
“I swear to God if you fuck me, I will fuck you back ten times harder.” It’s hard to look at her with a straight face. She’s angry, rightfully so. I’m not in the game, but none of this is about her and I don’t have time for this shit.
“I have plenty of respect for you, Jules, and I can promise you I am not trying to … fuck you.” It’s awkward even saying that to her.
“You need to get into the role,” Jules says, her tone completely changed. “Whatever needs to happen,” she says with a lack of conviction. “Whatever, just let me know how I can help you,” she says and her eyes flicker to the floor and then back to mine.
“Nothing,” I tell her before she’s even finished speaking. “I’ll get it right; I’m just not focused.” I need to talk to Hally. I need to settle this thing between us. Whatever the hell it is.