No Complaints - Page 32

“It’s not,” he growls, following closely.

“Really?” I wheel on him, waving my hands, staring at him in the hallway that leads to the elevator. “Then why is it our first date, why was I half-naked in your bedroom, and why did we….”

“Rachel,” he says, his voice shivering as much as his hands. “I didn’t make you do anything back there.”

“I never said that,” I reply. “I would never say that. Never lie about it, I mean. I know you didn’t. I wanted it.”

“So why…”

He leaves the question hanging. I could answer so many ways, starting with why I wanted him so badly. But I know which one he’s talking about.

Why did I let it get that far? Why don’t I want to go any further?

“This would be so much easier online,” I mutter. “I never thought I’d actually want to be at work.”

“What is it?” he asks, taking a step toward me.

I take a step away, closer to the elevator. It’s like my instincts know I’ll need to run once I’ve told him the truth.

I take another and another until I feel the cold doors of the elevator against my back.

He lingers a few feet away, looking at me strangely. “Rachel?”

“I have to go. I’ll tell you, but I have to go. Right away. I don’t care if I sound freaking crazy. I should’ve told you this at the start. I’m sorry for yelling, okay? It’s not… I didn’t think – I didn’t think, that’s the issue right there.”

“What’s wrong? You can tell me.”

I reach back, clawing for the elevator button. Pressing it down, I force myself to go to Ryland, to place my hands on his shoulders like they just were.

I don’t have to behave this way, surely, and yet it’s like I can’t stop.

It’s like a big ball of shame is trying to swallow me up.

The elevator beeps, and the doors open.

“Rachel?”

I step back. “I’m sorry, Ryland.”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing,” he says urgently.

I take a breath, pressing down on the button for the ground floor.

“I’m a virgin.”

He gasps, his eyebrows shooting up. I’ve never seen him so shocked. I couldn’t have imagined it before now.

“That doesn’t –”

The doors close, cutting off his words. He darts forward, but he’s too far away. They shut with a definitive metal sound, and then I’m sinking down, my belly lurching, my heartbeat hammering so I can hear it in my ears.

Interlocking my fingers, I fight the frantic breaths.

I fight the hammering of my heart. But there’s nothing I can do except ride it out.

When the elevator doors open, I walk quickly across the lobby, ignoring the voice in my head telling me to go back.

I’ve never told anybody I’m a virgin before. There’s always been this block in my mind, or maybe it’s a line, and crossing it means….

I don’t know what it means. I’ve never come even close to telling anybody.

The sun has set, and the streetlights are shining down on me as I walk through the city. I’m not thinking about where I’m going or what I’m doing.

Somewhere in the mayhem of leaving, I remembered to pick up my phone. My bag was back there, with my keys in it, but some part of my panicky mind knew I’d need to call my sister.

Stopping at the end of the street, I look down at my phone and then back toward Ryland’s apartment building.

Heck.

I just realized.

Ryland doesn’t have my cell phone number. He doesn’t know what apartment number I am… or even what building.

By leaving, I’ve just severed all ties with him.

I bite down on my lip, staring at his building, waiting for him to emerge.

What the heck have I done?

If I leave now, I may never see him again unless I go back.

I wait for what feels like forever, but nobody comes out. The minutes let my heartbeat slow down, and my nerves settle until I feel comfortable enough walking back toward the building.

Feeling like a real dork, I walk up to the apartment building, approaching the security guard at his desk. It’s a different one than last time.

“Excuse me, is Ryland still home?”

“I’m sorry, miss. I can’t share that information with you.”

“I was just in there with him….”

The man sighs. “I can’t confirm that. I’ve only just started my shift.”

“Can you give him something for me, please? Just a piece of paper? Please?”

The man frowns. He’s older with a deep gray mustache. “Okay, then.”

I’ll write my cell phone number down, hoping, praying he calls.

“Sorry to be a pain,” I say a moment later. “But can I borrow a pen and a piece of paper?”

The man’s frown deepens, but he nods, reaching across the desk.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Ryland

I wake to Rusty’s rough tongue dragging across my cheek. I don't spring out of bed for the first time in years – maybe since I was a kid.

Tags: Flora Ferrari Romance
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