No Complaints - Page 21

“Yes, but….”

But you don’t understand. I don’t just need him to be attracted to me. I need him to want me as much as I want him. I need him to want to start a family with me from the moment he laid eyes on me.

“But I wasn’t wearing this before,” I finish lamely.

She squeezes my shoulders again. “I mean it. Stop worrying. Tonight is going to be fun. Your first proper date. It’s a good thing.”

“Unless I screw it up.” I raise my hands quickly. “Sorry, sorry, I know. You can only tolerate so much grumpiness.”

She laughs, nodding. “See, you remember some of my important childhood lessons.”

It was what she’d say if I sulked when we were kids.

Autumn is the type who needs to act instead of feel, and I envy her for that. She probably would’ve kissed Ryland in the park if she’d been in my position.

She would’ve found a way to make him care.

As I’ve been waiting for this date – feeling like I’m sleepwalking through the rest of my life – I can’t let go of that moment he got super close to me. I was certain he was going to kiss me. Just for a second, I knew it….

He was going to grab my shoulders in his powerful hands, pull me toward him, and lean down so I could feel his breath whispering across my face, teasing me, shivering over my skin, and giving me a preview of how hot it was going to be when we fully fused.

Last night, I dreamt I kissed him instead. As he was gazing down at me, I thought, screw it, it’s happening now.

And then I stood on my tiptoes and slid my hands up his body, clawing onto his massive, rock-hard arms.

He smirked as I brought my lips closer to his.

“I thought you were shy….”

“Not with you, Ryland….”

In the dream, it was easy. The confidence came to me like it was the most natural thing in the world. But the moment I woke, I felt my skin burning red. I felt my heart skipping like I was going to choke on it.

I’d never be able to do that, not in real life.

Heck, I hope he kisses me. I hope I get to feel how badly he really wants me.

But even if he’s called me beautiful, even if I’m sure I’ve felt something hot and passionate from him, it’s still difficult to believe it.

“What are you thinking about?” Autumn softly asks once we’re sitting in the living room.

I’m on the couch, my forearms resting on my knees, my fingers interlocked as I stare down at the floor.

My feet keep tapping, making a loud knocking sound against the thin carpet, my shoes hitting the floorboards beneath.

“I don’t know,” I murmur.

She laughs, nudging me. “Why do I get the feeling that’s a lie, huh?”

I shrug. “Maybe he has another reason for meeting with me, for wanting to take me on a date.”

“Huh?”

“Maybe he wants to make an ex-girlfriend jealous. Or… or… or maybe he wants to do a good deed, take a poor girl out, show her a different life. Maybe it’s a bet?”

“What are you talking about?” Autumn snaps, that familiar protectiveness flaring in her voice. “How could this possibly be a bet?”

“I don’t know.”

“Let’s walk through it logically.” Autumn leaps to her feet and begins to pace up and down. “One of his buddies – what – dared him to date a woman who works on the online chat service for a cable company… and why? What possible reason would there be for that?”

“I don’t know, sis,” I say fiercely. “But it’s just so hard to accept. Why does he want me?”

“Because he’s attracted to you,” Autumn almost yells, coming to a stop a few feet from me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout. But I just hate it when you can’t see what I see – and now what Ryland sees. He said you’re beautiful. There’s no reason to doubt he meant it.”

“You’re right,” I murmur.

Except I don’t believe it, not deep down, and no amount of conversation is going to make me change my mind.

It might even be worse if she’s right, anyway.

A man like Ryland, fierce, intense, and fiery, he’s going to want things from me… he’s going to want me to play a part in the bedroom, the sexy, sassy part I wish I could play.

But deep down, I know I can’t.

“Do you remember what Mom used to say?”

I flinch, looking over at Autumn as she returns to her seat. She rarely talks about our parents. It’s like she’s decided to push them away, so she never has to think about it, about what happened.

“What?” I whisper, cautious lest I shatter the spell.

“She said imagination is a good thing. It helps people accomplish amazing feats and disappear into a better place. But it can also torture them. It can show them a thousand ways their lives will go wrong. And even if they’re not true, we believe them because that’s how powerful imagination is.”

Tags: Flora Ferrari Romance
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