I need time to compose myself, to tame the more unrealistic impulses taking hold of me. Which, right now, seems to be all of them.
“Okay.” He bites down as though my answer makes him want to howl. “Tomorrow night, then.”
He doesn’t phrase it as a question.
His voice is firm. His demeanor is firmer.
“Tomorrow,” I whisper, nodding. “Yeah. That sounds good. Yes.”
He smirks. “I’ll pick you up at seven, here if it makes you feel better.”
We’re coming to the end of our meeting. That’s what it feels like anyway.
Maybe that’s why I do the dorkiest thing imaginable, sticking my hand out as if we’ve just finished a business meeting.
“Um…”
I make a mental note. Stop saying um.
“See you tomorrow, then.”
He chuckles softly. I cringe a little, certain he’s mocking me if only a little bit.
“Tomorrow.”
He takes my hand. My skin buzzes and sparks like it did the last time we touched. Its electricity flaring between us, making my insides go tight and needy.
Tomorrow.
The word follows me all the way back up to our apartment.
Tomorrow we’re going on a real date.
How the heck am I going to keep my cool?
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Ryland
On some level, it’s good that she can’t meet until tomorrow.
It gives me time to try and calm myself down. It gives me time to try and beat away all these compulsions, all this heat, desire, and longing.
When I told her I wanted one more thing, I wasn’t going to mention the date. I was going to grab her shoulders and kiss her hard, kiss her so firmly she had no doubt who she belonged to.
I watched her walk out of the park, making sure that homeless man from before didn’t return. Once I was certain she was safe, I got into my car, and now I’m crossing the bridge struggling to focus on the road.
It’s clear she has no idea how gorgeous she is. Nobody has ever told her, and she’s never realized for herself, never accepted just how enthralling she is, physically and emotionally.
But right then, when our bodies were touching – when I could feel her full breasts brushing against me – it was the physical that had me panting. I knew what would happen if I kissed her.
I’d lose control and become completely unchained.
I’d slide my hands down her body and sink them greedily into her hips, pulling her up against me, snarling as I claimed her lips with mine.
And then I wouldn’t be able to stop.
I’d be like a monster, devouring her, stripping off her clothes to reveal her voluptuous flushed skin.
My phone buzzes inside my pocket. I press the Bluetooth speaker button on my steering wheel.
“Hello?”
I wait for a second, certain it’s somehow Rachel. But I didn’t give her my phone number. That was a mistake, and I’ll rectify it on our date.
I need her number so that I can call her any time I like so that she knows I’m always thinking about her.
But no.
Maybe that’d be a bad thing.
Maybe she’d think I’m becoming completely unhinged if I showed her the true scope of my need.
And now here I am, not even listening.
“Ryland?”
It’s Charley, his British voice raised.
“I think something might be wrong with the line.”
“I’m here,” I say.
“Ah, good.”
“Why you up so late?” I ask with a note of banter in my voice.
It’s difficult. I feel as if I’m playing a role, like everything is a distraction from my Rachel.
How am I going to stay sane until it’s time for our date?
“Successful people never sleep, mate. That’s my motto.”
I chuckle, putting irony into my voice. “Then I guess I’m not very successful. What’s up?”
“I was wondering if you want to do another instructional live stream same time next week?”
“Of course,” I say.
“I’m just sorting the schedule now. So I can put you down as a definite?”
“Always,” I tell him.
“Great.” There’s a pause, and then he says, “Any news about your dream girl?”
I almost roar at the question. It’s like he’s poking at my most sensitive part, the tenderest part of this whole thing. It makes me want to protect it, what we have, what we’re building.
And again, for what feels like the millionth time, I have to tell myself to slow down.
“I just met her,” I tell him. “We’re going on a date tomorrow.”
“No shit?” Charley says. “Tell me everything.”
And I do. But, unlike last time, I don’t hide the crazy parts. It all comes rushing out.
As I cross the bridge and start gliding through the city past the skyscrapers and the city blocks, I tell him how badly I want to be with this woman.
Charley quietly listens as I explain about the need, as I explain about all the primal compulsions rushing through me each moment.
The only part I leave out is how voluptuous and perfectly curvy she is. I don’t go into detail about how difficult it was not to stare at her breasts… or to reach out, massaging them, softly at first but then harder.