He covered her hand with his, pressing her palm hard against him, closing his eyes once again. ‘Do you know how often I’ve dreamed of this?’ he asked her. ‘Of you touching me, holding me, looking at me the way you are right now?’
She knew because she’d been dreaming of it, too. Half of her felt as though she might be dreaming still.
Then he was cupping her jaw with his hand, the warmth of his palm searing her skin. ‘Did I mess everything up that day?’ he asked urgently. ‘Did I put you off ever wanting to be with me?’
His eyes were searching hers, looking for answers. Her chest felt constricted as he caressed her face with his thumb, softly stroking as he waited for her reply.
‘You didn’t mess anything up,’ she whispered. ‘I managed to do it all by myself.’ As usual. He was silent, his lips slightly parted as he took in short breaths. ‘And even if you did, you could never put me off. You’re all I’ve been thinking about. I’ve watched every damn interview I could find with you on YouTube. I’ve been watching your documentaries over and over again just so I don’t feel alone.’
A slow smile broke out on his face. ‘You’ve been watching me?’
‘Apart from my school work, I haven’t been doing much else.’
‘Why didn?
?t you call me?’ he asked her.
‘Why didn’t you call me?’ She tipped her head to the side, pushing against his palm.
‘Because I’m a fool,’ he said, his voice soft. ‘Because I was afraid you wouldn’t want me. I needed to make things right first, be the man I need to be. One worthy of you.’
‘Is that what this is about?’ she asked, touching his jaw again. ‘Is that why you shaved?’
‘Partly,’ he said. ‘And partly because I was sick of looking like a hermit. I wallowed for way too long. After you left I took a long damn look at myself in the mirror, and I didn’t like what I saw.’
‘You’re being too hard on yourself. I always liked what I saw.’
His smile widened. ‘There’s other things too,’ he told her. ‘Like finishing my therapy, and asking to be allowed back into LA. They were all big steps, and I wouldn’t have taken them if it wasn’t for you.’
She couldn’t tear her eyes away from his. There was too much emotion in there, pulling her in. She stared at him for a long moment, her breath caught in her throat. ‘You didn’t say any of this earlier at the library,’ she told him. ‘I didn’t know how you felt.’
‘I was trying to play it cool,’ he admitted. ‘Take it slow. Look how that turned out.’
She burst out laughing, and he joined her, the skin around his eyes crinkling as he continued to gaze at her. Then the smile slid from his lips and he moved closer, until his face was only inches from hers.
‘You’re so beautiful,’ he whispered, tilting her head with his hand. She stared at him, still breathless. Waiting, wanting, needing.
‘So are you,’ she said, her voice as soft as his. ‘Inside and out.’
This time his smile was brilliant. He leaned closer, until his nose brushed against hers. She could feel the warmth of his breath against her skin, the planes of his chest as he pressed his body against her.
Then he was kissing her, claiming her, consuming her, his mouth moving against hers as he slid his hands down her back. He pulled her closer still, his tongue sliding against her lips, then inside until it brushed against her tongue. She moaned softly, her hands wrapped around his neck, as though clinging on for dear life. His skin was warm, smooth, such a contrast to before, and she found herself liking the way he felt.
Liking it way too much.
Her whole body was responding to his kiss, her legs trembling, her hands shaking. Her nipples hardened beneath her pyjama top as he pushed his hands inside, sliding his palms up her back.
When he pulled back, both of them gasping for air, she found herself wanting more. ‘Shall we take this somewhere more…’ She trailed off, trying to find the words.
‘More tidy?’ he prompted.
She laughed. ‘I was going to say more intimate, but tidy works too.’
He grinned, stroking her hair back from her face. ‘I like intimate,’ he confessed.
‘So do I.’
‘And I like you, Kitty Shakespeare. Way too much for your own good.’ He kissed her again, and she delighted in the sensation, her eyes squeezing shut and her toes curling with delight. And when he lifted her up and asked her to point him in the direction of her room, she found herself enjoying his brute force a little too much.