‘Yes you are,’ she pointed out. ‘You’re asking me to pretend to be a friend, or an acquaintance or something.’
‘You want me to tell them we’re lovers?’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t want you to tell them anything at all.’ Tears pricked at her eyes. ‘I just want to go home.’
‘But you don’t have a home.’
‘Thanks for reminding me.’
‘Cesca, I don’t know what you want me to say or do. I’m trying to find a solution here, but you keep knocking me down. What is it you want from me?’
His question stunned her. In the embarrassment of the day, all she could think about was wanting things to go back to the way they were. When she and Sam spent their days writing and editing, and their nights tangled between the sheets. But that option was void, and accepting that the best had already been and gone was heartbreaking.
Was there anything else she wanted? Cesca wasn’t sure. All she did know was that the pain in her chest was unbearable. As though she was losing something she wasn’t even aware she had.
‘I don’t know what I want,’ she said. ‘It’s so late, and I’m tired, and it will be another day tomorrow. We should both get some sleep.’ Alone. She didn’t say the final word, yet it rang out anyway in the half-light of her bedroom.
‘You want me to leave?’ There was that closed expression again on his face. She was getting used to that.
She nodded. ‘It would be awful if someone found you here.’
‘Fine.’ He stood up, running a hand through his messy hair. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’ He didn’t bother to kiss her before he left. She didn’t bother to ask him to. Instead she switched off the lamp and stared out into the darkness.
‘Are you OK? We can take a rest if you need one,’ Gabi suggested, giving Cesca a brief smile. Since Gabi and Sandro had arrived mid-morning, they’d spent the hours deep-cleaning the kitchen and dining room, and they were both flagging in the heat. Sandro was outside, working with the gardeners. Every now and then he’d put his head around the back door, and Gabi would pass him a glass of iced water, which he’d swallow down in seconds before he disappeared again.
‘I’m fine, it’s you I’m worried about. You shouldn’t have to work so hard after travelling all day. I could have done this while you recovered.’
‘Not at all, we’ve had weeks of relaxation. And you’ve done a great job of keeping everything going on your own. I feel like I’m taking advantage of you, but this takes half as long with two of us doing it, so while you’re here . . . ’
‘It’s not a problem,’ Cesca told her. And really, it wasn’t. She was happy hiding away in here, scrubbing at the tiles. For one it kept her mind occupied, especially as Gabi was talking enough for both of them. It also kept her away from Sam’s family.
And from Sam.
‘I’ll be out of your hair soon enough,’ Cesca told her. ‘I was planning to walk into town tomorrow to organise my flight home. I can’t imagine Mrs Ca
rlton wants to pay two lots of wages for us.’
Gabi’s face fell. ‘Oh no, you shouldn’t leave so soon. Please stay. There’s so much we can use you to do, all the things that are too much for me, especially when Sandro is so busy with the garden work.’
‘I need to get home. I was only ever meant to be here while you were away. Anyway, I’m pretty sure you can employ some women from the village to help you.’
‘It’s not the same.’ Gabi pouted. ‘And I want to hear all about your stay. Did you get a chance to explore Varenna, did you make any friends? You need to be here for long enough so I can get all the gossip from you.’
Cesca laughed lightly, hoping Gabi couldn’t see through her nonchalance. ‘What gossip? It’s been very quiet here.’
‘What about Sam?’ Gabi lowered her voice. ‘Did you read what the papers said about him? Do you believe that he did all those things with that woman?’
Cesca stopped scrubbing. She could feel her pulse start to speed. ‘What woman?’
‘The actress, that blonde one. Serena Sloane. She’s very beautiful, but according to the papers also very married.’
Serena Sloane? Cesca had heard of her before. The gorgeous blonde actress was on another level altogether. She and Sam must have made a stunning couple.
The image in her brain made her feel sick.
‘No, he didn’t tell me about that.’ She kept her voice as level as she could.
‘I’m sure it’s not true anyway,’ Gabi said hastily, interpreting Cesca’s quietness for a refusal to gossip. ‘He’s too nice a boy for that.’