Not even then, I almost say.
It’s true. When Tell Me Everything started gaining some traction, I could barely contain my joy. It was evidence that maybe my dream wasn’t as silly as it sometimes seems.
But that is nothing compared to this, to the way my belly swirls with anxiety and something more. It’s nothing like the way my mind spins, my thoughts pushing toward a future, toward a world where I’m a mother, a wife, a life partner.
To a man, I don’t even know.
My phone buzzes from the couch cushion, drawing my gaze.
My belly knots when I see Preston’s face next to a text notification, two words visible on the preview screen.
I can’t help but imagine his voice, gruff and serious, the voice I heard in interviews about his charity and football career when doing my online research.
I’m here.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Preston
I sit outside her apartment building, struggling not to tear the wheel off and hammer my fists against my chest like an animal. I know I need to calm the hell down, I definitely don’t want to go into beast mode and damage my car, but it’s difficult to focus when my mind is full of Penny.
It’s time. It’s happening.
But she thinks it’s just a rehearsal, a way to expand on her blog.
I can’t think about that right now, can’t let those thoughts take hold. I can’t allow myself to sink into that knowledge, that she wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t for her blog.
And even if she wants to go on a date with me, it doesn’t mean I can immediately let all of this need come bursting out. It’s not like I can allow myself to tell her how I really feel.
I rushed into something before, and I ended up hurting someone. Hurting them so badly that, almost a decade later, she still hates my guts.
I never hit her. I never insulted her. I never abused her.
But I was distant, distant in a way Lena couldn’t handle.
With Penny, I have the opposite problem.
There’s a danger of me becoming too intimate too soon, presuming too much on what this date means. I can imagine casually asking her what she wants to call our first child, not stopping to think how absolutely insane she’d find that.
I distract myself by studying her apartment building. It’s rundown, just like the whole neighborhood. There’s graffiti on the walls and the exterior of the buildings is crumbling away.
My heart gives a twinge as I think about the sort of home my woman deserves.
Safe, clean, with plenty of bedrooms to fill with our children.
My seed burns at the thought.
Suddenly, the door swings open and Penny steps onto the street.
My breath catches as my gaze devours her in the silver dress, hugging her curvy form closely, giving me a generous look at the body that was made for me. Her hair is in a tousled sexy look, jostling as she moves. Her breasts are contained within the dress, but the shape of them has me gritting my teeth in an effort to restrain the animal trying to break free.
Stepping from the car, I try to plaster a smile on my face. Some say I’ve got a naturally grumpy expression, but I’m trying my best.
If the way Penny looks at me is any indication, I fail.
She comes to a stop a few feet away and clings to her handbag with both hands, as though debating using it as a shield.
“The date is today… right?”
I smirk. “I’m not on a sightseeing trip.”
“Oh.” She pouts, making me want to grab her and kiss the pout right off her lips. “I just thought… okay, so should I get in the car?”
Damn.
Do I really look that miserable, or is my woman more nervous than even I am?
Walking toward her, I wave a hand toward the passenger seat. “That’s right, Penny. Your chariot awaits.”
Her chuckle at my words has the weight of a gift. It’s spontaneous and endearing and immediately makes me think of her laughing in that same way with our children.
I open the door and nod for her to step inside. She’s so close that I could reach out and grab her. I could squeeze my hand down on her hip and pull her right up against me, so there’s no space between us, so she can feel how hungrily I ache for her.
My balls swell at the thought. Her perfume – her scent – wafts over me, taunting me with her nearness, making me almost feral with how close I am to exploding and letting out all my withheld need.
Barely withheld.
Finally, she passes by me, slipping into the car. I close the door, careful not to slam it as my heart thunders almost painfully in my chest. Walking around to the driver’s side, I climb in, wishing for once my car wasn’t so spacious.