He laughed. “He is a bastard. When Tommy called, I wasn’t sure what to do. My job was in New York and that wasn’t going to help him since he wanted to stay near Jo so they could eventually get married. Then one of the partners at the firm I worked for called in a favor and got me a job in finance at a friend’s firm in DC. I moved here and did marketing freelance in the evenings. Tommy lived with me for two years and finished high school. We were close enough to Chesapeake that he could go visit her on the weekends.”
“Chesapeake?”
“It’s in the southern part of the state. That’s where I’m from. Anyway, after they were married they lived with Jo’s parents while they went to college so they could help with my nephew. Now my brother teaches Virginia State history to high schoolers.”
A small sigh escapes at this little tidbit. How is it possible that over the past two years I never knew he was from Virginia? When I’d asked where he was from he’d always said DC.
“So you took Tommy in, helped him finish high school and made it possible for him to stay close to the love of his life? I understand why he said you saved him.”
Law is quiet for a moment then the hand that was touching mine pulls back.
“No, I abandoned him for years. I only came back when there was no other option.”
All at once, I wish that Law had just taken me home. Spending time with him like this is so dangerous. Because it hurts so much to see the difference between how others view him and how he views himself. He doesn’t see the good that he does and only focuses on the bad. But I see all of him, every complicated layer, and I wish he could see it. If I could I would draw a portrait and hang it on the wall so he could see the beautifully flawed, strong, stubborn, loyal man that I see.
In the dark of night, snuggled up next to the only man I’ve ever truly loved, it would be so easy to say screw it and just stay with Law indefinitely. Years would pass with us living, working and playing together, doing everything on Law’s timetable and the way he wants.
If this is how he felt married to Elizabeth, then I understand why he thinks marriage is toxic. Losing your identity to love someone else is the worst thing I can imagine. It’s the ultimate betrayal of self.
“It was all a long time ago. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
My soft sigh floats between us. He reaches over and squeezes my hand.
“Go to sleep, baby. We’ll figure it all out in the morning.”
When I wake up, the events of the prior night are the first thing on my mind. Normally after something happens, I torture myself with all the would-have, could-have, should-haves, but today I don’t even bother replaying the crappy date.
The headache currently pounding behind my right eye is punishment enough.
A quick glance to the side shows that Law has already gotten up. He’s always been an early riser. My phone is propped on the nightstand next to me beside a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water. Law knows how alcohol affects me.
Suddenly I remember the date Ariana accepted for this morning. I’m supposed to be having coffee with someone. I pull the pillow over my face to cover my groan. The last thing I want is to drag my hungover body out of bed to meet some guy at a coffee shop. But I’m not a quitter so I’ll see this through. It’s not enough to just claim to want a new life. I have to be willing to put myself out there and see what other guys have to offer.
But these guys aren’t really interested in you, are they? They just want a hook up and pretty much any woman they find attractive will fit the bill.
They aren’t going to hold me if I wake up with a nightmare or listen to me bitch about a bad day.
Law did those things, I think mournfully.
But he won’t give me the one thing I need. Assurance. A promise that he’ll be there forever.
Instantly, I shake off the negative thoughts. This is not how I want to approach dating. Of course I won?
??t find anyone great if I immediately assume the guys will be creeps. I check my GlowUp message. Drew is probably a perfectly nice guy.
If I want something different, I can’t keep doing the same thing.
Which means I have to get up and get going.
After a quick pit stop in the bathroom, I walk out to the kitchen. The coffeemaker is still warm and the television is on in the living room. Where is Law?
I check the garage, my stomach sinking when I step down into the empty space. He left.
Strangely let down, I call an Uber. While I wait, I take a quick shower and throw on one of the oversized college shirts I used to wear to sleep in and a pair of yoga pants. Looking down at the stuff in the bottom drawer of Law’s dresser, my drawer, I realize it’s probably time I clean it out and bring this stuff back to my apartment.
My phone vibrates. My Uber is waiting outside so I slam the drawer closed. I’ll figure that out later. Preferably when I’m not hungover and late.
There’s no time for me to go home so I’m heading straight for the coffee shop. It’s in Logan Circle which is a pretty trendy part of DC. I’m trying not to read too much into this guy’s choice of coffee shop. Maybe it’s just close to his place. It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a hipster.