After a minute, I take a breath and actually start to relax. I should have known Law would plan something like this. We both enjoy things casual and private. He’s not the type to plan some showy proposal and I love that about him. It’s just the two of us.
Exactly the way I w
ant it.
“I wanted us to take a moment to relax after how busy things have been. You’ve been very patient with all the late nights I’ve been working. I appreciate that a lot.”
Even though he means it as a compliment, the praise makes me a little uncomfortable. After all, it’s not like I haven’t been working a lot as well.
“Of course. I know how important the business is to you. It’s important to me, too. The fact that I get to see you on my breaks and sneak a kiss sometimes makes it even better.”
He smiles and takes my hand. “The fact that you get it is just… I don’t even know what I would do without you some days. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, how different my life would be if I couldn’t look forward to seeing you everyday. I just wanted to find some way to show you how much it means.”
He releases my hand and then reaches into his pocket. As my heart trips and falls all the blood rushes to my head.
Oh my god. This is it!
He pulls his hand out and hands me an envelope. Confused, I just look at it until he laughs softly.
“Well, open it.”
Still stuck between the rush of excitement and confusion about why there’s an envelope in my hand instead of a ring box, I just blink for a few moments until Law takes the envelope and opens it.
“It’s two tickets to Paris!”
“Paris?” I repeat.
“Yes! I know going to France is on your bucket list and there’s a potential client there so I decided, what the hell! Let’s make a vacation of it. Just you and me, walking on the Champs-Élysées and eating … whatever they eat in Paris. It’s going to be amazing!”
I laugh weakly, all the anticipation and excitement of a few moments ago fizzling into a puddle of embarrassment and then… guilt. Law is so excited about this amazing trip and I should be too. Going to Paris is something I’ve wanted for a long time.
“Thank you. This is amazing. I can’t believe you planned this.” I reach over and pull him into a hug.
After a moment, his arms fold around me. When he tries to pull back, I hold on tighter, not ready to put on a happy face yet. He did this amazing thing for me and all I should be is grateful. Just because I thought it was a proposal and it wasn’t doesn’t mean anything. People arrive at certain milestones at different points in time. Maybe it’s taking Law a little bit longer to feel what I’m feeling and that’s okay.
So I’m going to hold on until the dark feeling that came over me when I saw the envelope goes away.
The feeling that I’ll be waiting a long time for something that will never come.
5
ANYA
present day…
People always say that in your final moments your whole life flashes before your eyes. Maybe I’m just not that lucky because all I get is a close up view of a bunch of horrified strangers and the certainty that I haven’t done any of the things I wanted to do yet.
Am I seriously going to die alone?
Just as I have that cheerful thought, I cough and my airway opens up. Finally. The cool rush of air going down my throat is heaven and I suck in deep breaths until my heart rate slows slightly and the spots in my vision fade.
“Just breathe, carina. I’ve got you.” The guy who just saved my life with dramatic use of the Heimlich maneuver stands next to me staring. Just like all the rest of the people at the table.
My face is still flaming from all the attention and the panic of not being able to breathe a few seconds ago. The source of my mortification sits innocently on my plate, the delicate pink flower crowning the top still intact.
A wedding cupcake.
I didn’t even get the dignity of almost being taken out by an entire slice.