Rafe frowned. “Yes. I wouldn’t—” He lowered his voice to a whisper.
“I don’t— That’s not the kind of man I want to be.”
“What kind of man do you want to be then?” Diana kissed his bruised knuckles. Could he be distracted from this conversation?
“A just one. I do what’s necessary to protect the innocent.” He glanced down at his hands. “As it stands, I was barely able to control myself. And that makes me sick.”
“Rafe,” she whispered. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I thought I did. When I went there, I wanted to make sure he understood that the things we do have consequences. I was his consequence. After all, he’d hurt what was mine. That was why I went there. But I realized that I didn’t belong there.”
Hell. He knew. He had to know.
“I’m yours?” Even though he’d said it before, it had felt more like the product of high emotions and rushing testosterone. Men said all kinds of things in the moment that they didn’t actually mean. But this was different.
“How could you not know how I feel about you?” Rafe dragged her forward and kissed her again. On a shocked breath, she opened for him again. He angled his head to deepen the kiss. When he touched his tongue to hers, she stilled and backed away, flattening a hand against his chest.
“You can tell me anything. You know that, right? Diana—”
“Wait. I just need a minute to breathe.” She pushed her hair away from her face and tried to take a breath. She battled conflicting emotions—worry over what Rafe had done on her behalf and guilt at her own deception. She was caught up in a web of lies and didn’t know how to untangle herself. What the hell had she done to his life?
There were so many questions and no answers, and the swirl of confusion was making her head hurt. But for the first time in her life, she felt alive. Like she was doing more than just existing from one day to the next.
Whether it was right or wrong, she couldn’t resist one more chance to feel alive in Rafe’s arms. For the rest of her days, she doubted she’d ever feel like this again.
If she had been unsure about leaving him before, now it was even clearer why she needed to. Despite everything she knew, she loved him. And she couldn’t keep doing this to either of them. She needed to leave before she destroyed them both.
She swiped a tear off her cheek. “I didn’t want this, Rafe.”
“Baby, don’t cry. Please don’t be scared. I would never hurt you.”
Rafe shifted slightly, looking as wrecked as she felt. This back-and-forth was taking a toll on both of them.
“I know.”
She cut him off by tugging him to her and fusing their lips together. He didn’t need further invitation and dragged her onto his lap so she straddled him, her dress shifting up to expose her thighs.
Rafe should have known this was too good to be true. All he wanted was to sink into Diana, make her come a handful of times, and hold her to sleep. That would be better than any aspirin.
But just as she hiked up her skirt, there was a knock at the door. Fuck that, he could ignore it. He slid his lips over Diana’s, wanting to get lost in them.
“Rafe, don’t you think you should get that?”
“Nope. Remember the last time I opened the door? Matthias cock-blocked me. I’m not taking that chance again.”
She laughed even as she started to slide off his lap. Reflexively, Rafe tried to hold on to her. Literally and figuratively. She was here, present with him, but in the past few days, he’d started to feel like she was pulling away. Like she was trying to run. Was she scared of him?
Can you blame her?
Diana kissed him softly on the lips. “You get it, get rid of whoever it is, and then come to bed.”
All his dick heard was bed. But he couldn’t really blame the guy. “Fine, but get naked. I’m not feeling particularly patient.”
She only chuckled as she sashayed down the hall.
He was in no fucking mood, so if it was Matthias again just to fuck with him, he was going to kill the kid. He scowled when he checked the monitor. Shit. What the hell was she doing here?
He yanked the door open and scowled. “Emilie.”