Elke is watching me, and she finally smiles. “Look at you. Over the moon about it already.”
Anouk clasps her hands excitedly. “A baby in the circus! This is going to be so wonderful. We’ll all be its family. I love babies.”
I stand up, trying to think what I should do first. Buy a pregnancy test? Or find Cale. I’ll find Cale, and then we can buy a test together. Nervousness races through me, but I’m certain that Cale will be happy when he hears the news. Almost a hundred percent certain. Well, eighty percent certain.
Oh, god. What if he’s not happy? What if he’s angry with me? A wave of nausea rolls through me, and I press my hand over my mouth.
“Cale will be thrilled,” Elke assures me, guessing what’s going through my mind. “Go and tell him, and then you can buy a test in the morning. We won’t tell a soul in the meantime.”
The morning? Of course, it’s late, and the shops will all be closed. I pull on a loose knitted sweater and shove my feet into sneakers. Then I give the girls a crooked grin and head out into the darkness.
When I knock on the door of Cale’s wagon, I get no reply. He’s not by the fire, either. Thinking he’s probably at the big top, I head over, smiling to myself, sleeves over my hands, arms swinging. Cale and I could be having a baby. The world suddenly seems like a brighter place. Maybe not everyone will like us, or welcome us, but Cale and I can welcome this little one into the world with all our hearts. We’ll love it, and we’ll never, ever abandon it. There’s a warm spot burning in my chest, growing brighter and brighter with every step as I approach the red-and-white striped tent.
It’s my love for Cale. I love him.
There’s no point in being shy about it anymore. I want everything I feel for this man to be out in the open at last, for everyone to see. I want to give my love to him with both hands.
I push aside the tent flap and see Cale in his shirtsleeves, holding knives in each hand, his head bowed. He’s tu
rned away from me, and so I open my mouth to call out to him.
Before I can make a noise, a hand is clamped over my mouth and I’m yanked back from the tent.
I make an angry noise in the back of my throat as I’m lifted up into the air, my legs kicking. The tent flap drops, and I get a last view of Cale, his back still to me, raising an arm to throw, because he hasn’t heard me.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Cale
One. Two. Three. Four. Five.
Six.
I smile and stride forward to pull the knives out of the board. In less than a year, Ryah has turned my world upside down. I’ve broken my own rules about what I’ll do in an act. I’ve opened up about the darkest moment of my past.
And I’ve fallen in love.
There’s no other way to put it. I’ve fallen in love with the blonde, blue-eyed beauty who galloped into my heart the moment I met her. I’ve been so careful about expressing my feelings to Ryah, not wanting to push her or smother her when she’s so fragile.
But she’s not fragile anymore, is she?
I’m the one who’s needed her more than she’s needed me. I think I would have fallen apart after the hearing if it wasn’t for her presence, and her absolute refusal to let me wallow in grief. She made me throw the sixth knife, and now I know I’m going to be okay. We’re going to be okay. We’re made for each other.
So why the fuck am I just standing here, looking at a scar in the wood where my knife used to be? I should be talking to Ryah and telling her all this.
I shove my knives into their holsters and jog for the entrance, because now that I’ve made up my mind to tell her, I don’t want to waste another second. The campfire is deserted, so I knock on the door of her wagon.
Elke opens it and smiles at me broadly. “She’s told you the good news, then?”
“What good news?”
The smile drains from her face. “Well, that she’s… Ryah went to find you fifteen minutes ago. Where were you?”
A prickle of fear travels down my spine. “In the big top.”
“But that’s where she would have gone if you weren’t in your wagon.”
I’m already stepping back from the door and turning to stare around at the darkness. There’s no movement except for the flickering of the campfire.