I chew on my lip, digesting. The fire flickers in an invisible draft from the windows. I shift slightly, leaning toward him. “You wanted me? Even before that?”
He nods once. “Always under everything, I wanted you.”
That answer gives me the courage to finally blurt it out.
“Did you know I was a virgin when we slept together?”
The words rush from my mouth before I can stop them and once they’re in the air, I wish I could jam them back inside. He stares, mouth open, and he doesn’t need to answer: the answer’s obvious. He didn’t know that he took my virginity until this moment, right now.
“I didn’t have a clue,” he says softly, voice hard. “Are you sure?”
“Casso,” I say warningly. “That’s something a girl knows.”
“I just mean, I thought you had other guys.”
“You told everyone I slept with half the school if that’s what you mean, but no, that was all bullshit. You were the first.” And the last, I don’t add. There’s not a whole lot of opportunity living in your father’s cartel compound for romance. Casso was my first, my last. He’s all I know.
He shifts closer, moving nearer. His hand touches my hip and he places his glass on the coffee table. He takes my glass, finishes it, puts it down with his own.
“I didn’t know,” he says, “but now I think I understand why you ran away that night.”
“You were so angry about that.”
“I was confused. I fucked you until you screamed my name and came, fucked you for the first time apparently, and you couldn’t wait to get out of there.”
“I hated you. You hated me. I was just as confused.”
He nods, staring into my eyes. “I’m still not sure what I was thinking back then.”
“Casso.” He’s closer now. Lips inches away, his body over mine, a tremor running down my skin.
“I didn’t know,” he whispers. “I took your virginity, and all these years, I had no clue. You gave me something I should’ve cherished, and now I understand so much of what came after. You were angry about it all, weren’t you? Not just the way I treated you because of the war, but everything.”
“I was so angry about a lot of things back then.” I tilt my chin up. Lips quivering, wanting to feel him press against mine so badly it’s like a spotlight on my mouth.
“My wife, my princess.” His finger caresses my cheek softly. “I wish I knew. I wish you’d told me sooner.”
“What would it have changed?”
“I don’t know. Something, I hope.” He leans forward and kisses my neck. His lips are silken against my throat. I run my fingers through his hair and stare into his eyes.
“That’s the problem, Casso. Even if you’d known that you took my virginity that night, nothing would’ve changed. We were still in a war, and you could easily justify everything with that simple excuse.”
His eyes blaze into mine as he reaches his fingers into my hair and grips hard. “I’m not going to repeat the same mistakes,” he whispers harshly, and he presses his lips against mine, slowly and tentatively at first, gently probing how I’ll react, and when I kiss him back, he growls into my mouth as he smothers me, shifting to pin me against the couch. I gasp as he yanks my skirt up, pulling it around my hips, the silky fabric pooling around my soft skin.
He dominates me then, completely and fully, pinning my hands up, yanking my dress higher. I moan into his mouth and feel smothered, destroyed, ruined, like he’s my doom and I can’t wait for it. I grind my hips and wrap my legs around him as he pulls my hair and kisses my neck, biting and licking, his mouth coming up to my ear.
“I was an idiot back then to ever let you walk away,” he says as he slips down me, kissing as he goes, until he’s kneeling between my legs. I watch him take off his tie, toss it aside, unbutton his top button, then roll up his sleeves. His forearms bulge with muscle as he talks. “I was too blinded by my anger over getting kicked out of school to see what was right in front of me. You were perfect that night, Olivia, an angel, and I didn’t deserve you. I might not deserve you now, but I’ll have you anyway.” Once his sleeves are finished, he reaches up to my hips, grips my panties, and slowly pulls them off.
I chew on my lip as he yanks my dress up higher, exposing my naked, slick pussy, glistening in the firelight. He looks at me and my whole back goes numb, like all the blood in my body rushes down between my legs. His face twists like he can’t believe how gorgeous I am, and I release a shocked whimper when he rolls two fingers along my length, teasing my wetness, gathering up around my clit. I groan, head thrown back, arms stretched out above my head.