Silence descends like a spider from its web. I stand and tremble and want her to get the hell out. I want to be alone, all alone, so I can stew in my misery.
Papa’s not coming back. I know him and he won’t come to say goodbye. When he finishes hammering out the rest of my life with that monster Casso, he’ll sneak away and disappear and I’ll be trapped in this house, a piece of meat for lions to rip to pieces. Casso is going to torture me, he’s going to make my life hell, he’s going to make me wish I was Manuel, that I was the dead one.
And in some ways, I’ll deserve it.
“I’m sorry,” Karah says finally as she stands and brushes her hands on her dress. She must be sweating. I almost feel bad for her. “I’ll let you have some time to yourself. I know this is a big adjustment, and I just want to say, if there’s anything you need, you can come find me. If you ever want to talk, or whatever, find me. If my brother isn’t good to you, come find me. I really do want to help you if I can.”
I shrug and wave a hand. I want to stay strong but her kindness hurts worse than I ever thought possible. I’m blinking back tears and she’s looking at me, so I turn my back and stare out the window into the desert.
She leaves. The door shuts. I’m alone in a strange room, a room nicer than my room back home, with everything I could need in the world except happiness, freedom, a future.
But I’m here.
I explore the apartment. The bathroom is gorgeous with a massive shower and a big jacuzzi tub and more sinks than one girl could possibly need though I suspect I’ll put them all to good use sooner or later. The living area is cozy, and I’d bet anything Karah spent time decorating it—there are books on the shelves, good books, and nice comfortable throw pillows and blankets, little home-like touches that make it feel personal. It’s not my home, but it’s someone’s at least.
And that’s the extent of my world. Three rooms and a hallway. Things that aren’t mine and never will be.
The floor goes wiggly and my head’s a dizzy mess. I collapse onto the couch and pull my knees to my chest and just breathe for a while, my eyes shut tight to keep the tears from spilling out, but they spill out anyway. Can’t keep it locked away forever. I taste metal on my tongue and hear Casso, all those years ago: you’re a dead girl, Olivia. He meant it then and I think he means it now.
This isn’t a marriage. This isn’t an alliance. Papa didn’t sell me to Casso for some great and glorious future.
He sold me to my executioner.
But I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, no matter how much I beg. I sit up and wipe my face and scream into a pillow until my throat hurts and then I’m done. I toss the pillow aside. It’s damp in two spots. I walk to the windows, seething, and come to a decision.
I won’t roll over and die. I won’t spread my legs and let Casso have me. I’ll do what’s necessary to survive.
And I’ll find out who killed my brother.
Down in Mexico, so far away, I had no chance. Manuel was history, that’s all. But here in this place with these people, the past is more alive than it ever has been before, and I’m so close.
I can figure out who took my brother’s life. That’ll give me meaning: that’ll give some purpose to this suffering.
Revenge. It’s ugly, it’s bitter. It’ll wreck me from the inside out and turn me rotten and worthless.
But it’s all I have and all I need for now.
Chapter 3
Casso
“You have to talk to her eventually.” Nico sips his drink and watches Karah and his little child swim around the shallow end. Antonio’s in layers of floaties and Karah’s being careful—and the little guy seems to love the pool.
“I know that.” I look down at my glass. Light breaks into too many colors on the tile-covered ground. Water splashes, a baby laughs. “It’s not simple.”
“You’re going to marry her. You might as well start with a conversation.”
I grind my jaw. Nico smiles slightly and he knows he’s got a point—but he’s a bastard anyway. Things are complicated between me and him. I miss the old days when he was my best friend, nothing more than that—the scrappy young guy I took under my wing. He was the muscle and I was the brains, and together we made an unstoppable team. When I was younger, I thought I’d go to college, get a degree, go into business with my family while Nico ran things out on the street. I wanted to rule the boardroom while he ruled the alleys, but life didn’t work out that way.