He paused, and looked me in the eye. “Do I seem like a strong man to you?”
“Yes, you do,” I said. I was willing to say whatever he wanted. I needed him to keep talking.
“Of course I do, lass. You’re tied up.” He laughed softly then started pacing again.
“Truth is, my power has been waning for a while now. Rex was a big part of my appeal, back in the day. He’s always been a good fighter, and smart. When he was still in my pocket, he was one of my best earners. I tried to get him as my personal bodyguard, but he refused. I guess he liked running around the streets better, stealing shit, and causing mayhem.” He laughed, lost in his memories. I hated hearing him talk about Rex. It was almost as if he tainted Rex’s memory by using his name.
“Then, one day, some shit went down that he didn’t like, and he got clean. That wasn’t a problem in and of itself. He was more reliable clean, anyway. But something changed in him. He didn’t have the taste for the life anymore; he didn’t want the violence and the thieving. He started balking on jobs, refusing outright, and his rebellion sparked some other shit. It was a little thing, him refusing jobs and such, but it was enough to make others look at me twice. I tried to discipline him, but he’s a damned hard man.
“Eventually, I played the debt card. After years of using my drugs and fucking my women, eating from the palm of my hand, he owed me hard cash. That worked, until he forced my hand in front of a big meeting of the local bosses. He’d fight in my ring in exchange for debt reductions, until he was free. That’s what he proposed and, for whatever reason, the other bosses backed him. They didn’t give a fuck and probably liked it that someone was standing up to me. I agreed, under the condition that if he lost, even once, he was mine. And the bastard hasn’t lost, not since. Nine hard fights in a row. He’s become a kind of rallying cry for those that want to see me fall. I know he doesn’t give a fuck about the politics of this, and that he wants his freedom, but he’s stuck in it whether he wants to be or not.
“I took Rex in, you know. When he was a little shit, homeless and broken, shooting up every night and begging all day, I gave him work. I gave him a place to live and a purpose in life. I turned him from the sad little urchin he was, moaning about his mommy running out on him and his dead adopted father. I made him a man and taught him everything he knows. I saved his miserable ass, and how does he repay me? With this rebellious teenager shit? I can’t have it. I can’t let it go.”
“Why are you telling me all this?” I asked, genuinely wondering. Although I still thought he was a violent piece of shit, I saw something more in Michael. He was a human at least, and was struggling with his decisions. I wanted to see him dead, but at least I understood his motivations.
He sighed and looked off into the distance. He seemed conflicted.
“Good question. It’s safe, I suppose. Not many people to talk to when you have to constantly be strong. Even my closest allies are jockeying for my position. They think they can do things better. Some people even want to bring us back to the old days and quit stealing cars, quit selling drugs. But there’s no going back now that the right people have had a taste of the green it all brings in. There’s no going back anymore. In this business, if I don’t hold on to what I have, I’m dead. I can’t give up control right now, not while I’m still young. Maybe one day I can retire, but now it’s either win or die.”
I didn’t respond, and he continued to pace. He sounded genuinely sad as he spoke, as if the good old days were a real thing that he missed. I watched him move, and saw the violence, the destruction in his gait. I knew he was a dangerous person, but worse than that, he was desperate. He wanted to hold on to his power, but felt besieged by his allies. He was like a wild animal pushed into a corner, forced to fight with everything he had. In a lot of ways, he was like Rex. They both found themselves in a position where it was win or die. Except Rex was forced into his spot by Michael, and Michael was doing what he did to protect his own interests. Rex wanted to be free, and Michael wanted control.