But why would I assume that Tadd was telling the truth, and Rex was lying? I was so confused and torn. I couldn’t give up on Rex just because one disgusting asshole said something bad about him. I knew he had a hard past, but he was trying to get away from all that. As my tears fell, I kept wondering why he hadn’t called me, or even messaged. I felt pathetic, pining for a guy who owed me nothing.
We had a real connection, and I wasn’t ready to give up on that without some closure. Tadd had said that Rex was out of town, and I believed that part, especially considering he had bought my bluff. That meant Rex wasn’t in some crack house shooting up, but was doing a job for Michael. Still, that job was likely illegal or at best semi-legal, and I still had cause to be worried. But I was slowly becoming more and more sure that Rex wasn’t still using, and that Tadd was being a piece of shit.
Finally, when the cabbie pulled over in front of my apartment, I gathered myself together. I wiped off my face, paid the fare, and climbed out onto the street. I took a few deep breaths and laughed at the absurdity of my night as the car pulled away. I had gone looking for a man I barely knew in a dangerous bar, and almost gotten mixed up with the kind of scumbag I had been warned against. Who knew what Tadd would have done to me if I hadn’t out smarted him? I laughed at my small victory, at my idiocy and insanity, and at the crazy rush I felt at getting out of there in one piece. I felt terrified and angry and frustrated and alive, very alive.
Chapter Thirteen
I was a mess again by Wednesday. I still hadn’t heard from Rex, but I was definitely staying away from Drake’s. I couldn’t help but wonder where he was and what he was doing, and why he hadn’t messaged me yet. Fortunately, I was keeping myself together enough not to blow his phone up, but I really wanted to.
Then the text came mid-afternoon. I was getting back from lunch, hoping Marissa wouldn’t be around, when my phone vibrated. I pulled it out and my heart almost stopped when I saw that it was from him. Meet me at the wharf tonight at 8, be careful. That was all he said. I was beyond thrilled that he wanted to see me, but also worried. I tried not to read too much into it, but it was hard not to. I hadn’t heard from him in days, and even stalked him at his bar. I was a little surprised he wanted to see me without talking first, but I guessed he had his reasons. I wanted to respond, but I decided against it. He was vague and mysterious for a reason, and I guessed it had to do with the reason he hadn’t been in touch sooner.
The day flew by after that, and I soon found myself getting dressed to see him. I decided on the same socks and chucks combo, plus frayed short jean shorts and a tight navy blue T-shirt. My heart was racing as I left the building and made my way toward the art museum. The last time, he was waiting at the top of the steps, but this time I knew where I was going. I went past the metal horse fountain, went right toward Kelly Drive, and wound my way up around behind the museum. The area felt creepier and smaller without Rex leading the way; I had the distinct feeling of being watched. I realized I was paranoid, but wasn’t sure why. I guessed it had to do with Rex’s mysterious message. I felt almost like a spy, going for a secret drop in a secluded area.
The black spiral staircase was exactly where I left it last time, but it felt even more daunting. I hesitated at the top, and took a deep breath. I needed to be sure this was what I wanted, and it was my last chance to back out. Rex was a dangerous man involved with dangerous people, and I had already almost gotten myself into a really bad situation. I didn’t know what he had been doing, but it was almost definitely not something legal. More than likely, it was violent and bloody. He may have even still been doing drugs, for all I knew. Tadd was a disgusting human, but he might have told the truth.
I looked out across the water, at the lights of West Philly, and stared as the small waves and currents bent and curved the reflected buildings. I thought about Rex’s strong hands on my hips, his soft lips against mine, his teasing laugh, and his easy confidence. I thought about him calling me spoiled, and hated to admit that it turned me on. I wanted him to break me, to show me a world I had never seen before. I didn’t crave danger, but I craved that man. I took a step, then another, and soon I found myself at the bottom of the staircase on the dimly lit pathway winding its way through sparse trees.