I laughed. “I’d say he’s in shape.”
Amy grinned as I took along drink. The alcohol warmed my stomach and the spicy tomato juice was delicious.
“I have something serious to ask,” Amy said. I was a little surprised and wondered what more serious stuff she had to say.
“Go for it, kiddo.”
“So you know I’m getting married.”
I acted shocked. “Married? I didn’t even know you were dating someone!”
She grinned. “Will you be my maid of honor?”
I paused. “Of course I will, you idiot!”
We laughed together. I felt the old joy being around Amy come flooding back, and for a second I forgot the confusion and dread that had begun swirling inside of me.
“I’m so happy. I promise you won’t have to do anything,” she said.
“I’ll do whatever you need! I’m just glad you asked.”
We laughed again, easy and comfortable, and finished our drinks together. When the waitress came back, we ordered food and another round, comfortable in our friendship.
––––––––
As I walked home after brunch, a little tipsy but feeling good, my mind wandered back to Rex. I thought about his sweating, sculpted body, his perfectly full lips, and his devilish grin. I wanted to call him, but I knew it was too soon. I had practically just left his apartment.
It made sense that Rex was involved with some drug gang. How else could they be running a serious underground fighting ring, or whatever it was? And that guy, Michael, he was genuinely terrifying. The real problem was whether Rex actually wanted out or not. He said he had been clean for over a year, but why hadn’t he paid off his debts sooner?
The city suddenly felt huge. I knew I was out of my depth, involved with things I didn’t completely understand. I was adrift, and the space around me suddenly became sinister. I imagined that every person I passed by worked for the Irish mob, or some other equally violent gang. I wondered if I’d get used to the feeling, or if I would stay paranoid for as long as I knew Rex.
But every time I thought about him, about his cocky grin and his confidence, and the way he continually stood by my side to defend me, I couldn’t help but need him more. I felt safe in unsafe moments because of him. His perfect, sweating body wrapped around mine, lost in the glow of each other, was one of the calmest moments of my life, and I wanted to experience it again and again.
Chapter Nine
By Wednesday, I was already worried about why he hadn’t texted me. I was thinking about him constantly, and I wondered if he felt the same. All of the information about him kept running through my mind. On paper, he was obviously not someone I should get involved with. He owed money to dangerous mobsters and was fighting in illegal matches to pay off his debt. He drank and cursed and fought when he wanted to. He was dangerous and covered in tattoos.
But that was at odds with how I saw him as a person. He was sweet, kind, and protective. He was funny, and he understood my sense of humor. While I didn’t love that he called me spoiled, he managed to pull it off by being so cocky and self-assured. I knew he was a violent man, but he wasn’t unpredictable. From what I saw, he didn’t seem to enjoy violence, so much as embrace it as a last resort. And he seemed genuine when he talked about wanting to get out. I believed him when he said he was clean and wanted to change his life.
Work felt a little more boring than usual. The office was still brightly colored and laid back, but it was a pale shadow of what I felt when I was in that bar with Rex. I felt alive there, while I felt stifled in the office. I knew I had a good job and a comfortable life, but something was missing. I didn’t feel that when I was around Rex.
By midday, I found myself wandering the street on my lunch break, desperate for something new. The city was mid-summer and the sun beat down on the pavement. I was sweating through my thin black dress, and my small heels made loud clacks on the sidewalk. I sat on a low wall in Rittenhouse Park square and watched a busker play the guitar for tips. I leaned back and looked up at the sun light through the leaves, and felt the breeze cool my skin, and thought I felt okay for the first time in a while. As I breathed deep, my phone vibrated. I pulled it from my purse and checked the message.
I want to see you tonight, miss spoiled chick, it read. I smiled and felt that familiar thrill run down my spine. I had been eagerly waiting for him to message, but I hadn’t realized how relieved I’d be when he finally did. Part of me thought he never would, and that I’d been forgotten about.