The difference between his response and Cam’s spoke for itself. And it made her heart hurt. Not for herself, but for her boys. Niall wasn’t even a part time father. His role in his children’s lives was a little more than a cameo part.
“Maybe you shouldn’t call him.” The words escaped her lips before she could think them through.
“What do you mean?” There was a frown in his voice. She remembered too late that Niall hated being told what to do. Even when she was right.
Especially when she was right.
“What I mean is you can’t just flit in and out of their lives and not be there for them when they need you. Michael called you today, he was so upset. And you couldn’t even be bothered to make him feel better. He needed you, Niall, and you weren’t there. The same way you haven’t been there for him for years.”
“I only left a year ago.”
Physically, sure. But emotionally? She’d been a single parent for as long as she could remember.
Mia swallowed hard. “If you want to be part of the boys’ lives, then you’ll need to commit to regular contact. And maybe you need to do some therapy with them.”
“You can’t tell me what I need to do. I have rights…”
She wanted to laugh at his rights, but she was afraid it’d come out as a hysterical scream. Right now the emotions were getting the better of her. “You do,” she said, keeping her voice as even as possible. “But you also have two young men who are confused about your place in their lives, and you aren’t making it any better for them. If you want to be their father, then great, I’ll support you. Damn, I’ll make it easy for you. But if you hurt them then I’ll fight you with every breath that I have. Those boys deserve better than a father who can’t be bothered when the going gets tough.”
Silence blasted down the phone line. Mia inhaled a ragged breath, leaning on the kitchen counter. Michael was in the living room, thank goodness, not able to hear this call.
“I…” Niall sighed heavily. “I don’t know what to say.”
Say you’ll be their father. Say you love them. Say you’ll fight for them.
“Think about it,” she suggested. “Let me know what you want.”
Niall cleared his throat. “I’ve never been good enough, have I?”
Mia ran her fingers through her hair. “For me? No. You never were. But you’re the boys’ father. And you’re going to be a father again. It’s up to you to work out if you’re good enough. Nobody else.” She blew out a mouthful of air. “I need to go.” She didn’t want to talk to him any longer. Didn’t want to beg him to be the parent that Michael and Josh needed him to be. If he walked away, they’d deal with it, the way they’d dealt with it when he left.
They’d do more than deal with it. They’d thrive, because her kids were amazing.
“Bye,” Niall muttered, as thoug
h he couldn’t wait for the call to end.
“Bye.” She swiped the screen with her finger, and shoved her phone into her pocket. Whatever Niall decided to do didn’t really matter. They’d be okay. Because she’d make sure they were.
The same way she always did.
They were sitting in the living room when lights swept over the window. Even though it was dark, Mia hadn’t closed the curtains. She was too desperate to keep a watch on the road outside for that. After she’d explained the situation to the police and then spoken to Niall, she’d called the number Cam sent her, her heart pounding against her chest as Brian answered, and Josh’s voice echoed down the phone line.
He’d sounded so young as he kept saying sorry over and over. She hated that she couldn’t hold him. Because he didn’t need to be sorry – that was her job.
Michael was the first to jump up from the sofa when the headlamps hit. He had better reflexes than she did, but it was only a heartbeat later that she was joining him at the window, her breath caught in her throat as she saw Cam’s blue Audi pull into the driveway. The police officer joined her, and all three of them stared out of the window.
“He’s here,” Michael shouted. Sam lifted his head up, blinking. He’d fallen asleep about an hour earlier.
They rushed into the hallway, Michael yanking open the door and running onto the porch, Mia right behind him, followed by the officer. Then Brian climbed out of the car, opening the rear door so Josh could hop out, and the tears started stinging at her eyes again.
Josh looked tiny next to the car. He had a bottle of water in his hand as he stared wide-eyed at the three of them standing on the porch. There was a wary expression on his face, as though he wasn’t sure what his reception would be. Mia held her arms out, and his face crumpled as he ran the distance between the car and the steps, taking them two at a time.
His body collided with hers, the force winding her, but she ignored the pain and wrapped her arms around her son, hugging him tight.
“Oh my god,” she whispered. “Oh Josh. You’re here.” It was hard to breathe.
“I’m sorry,” he sobbed into her chest. “I’m so sorry.”