“I hope so,” Courtney said. And maybe that little hole inside was filling up a little. With the baby’s kicks and Lainey’s words.
The rest of the void? Well, she’d have to work out how to fill that herself.
Logan’s cheeks were aching from smiling and talking and pretending that everything was okay. That he hadn’t fucked up the one good thing in his life.
It was almost eleven. He knew that from checking his phone, the way he had every fifteen minutes in the vain hope that she’d messaged or called or done something to tell him it was going to be okay.
But there was nothing. He shouldn’t be surprised. She was the one who’d suggested they needed space from each other. Why would she contact him? But it still felt like a blunt knife to his chest, slowly twisting and turning and making everything inside him ache. He was a fixer. He didn’t let things get him down. He saw what the problem was and handled it immediately – that’s how he’d become so successful in the restaurant industry. And that was why half of him wanted to be on a plane right now, flying to see her, to sort this out, instead of thinking things through.
“The food was beautiful,” Maddie said, walking up behind him where he was standing at the bar. Everybody was still seated, the room filled with laughter and chatter that meant nothing to him. He couldn’t even bring himself to be pleased that the opening night was going so well.
“Thanks.” He flashed her a smile. And yeah, his cheeks still ached.
“Are you okay?” she asked, her brows furrowed together. “Any news from Courtney?” He’d given his family the low down when they arrived at the restaurant earlier. There had been sighs of relief that Carl was okay. But he hadn’t been able to tell them the truth about his conversation with Courtney. Or that it felt as though everything was messed up.
He could hardly understand it himself. How could he explain it to them?
“I’m guessing she’s gone to bed,” he said, his jaw tight. “It’s been a long day for her.”
Maddie nodded. “You’re right. She must be exhausted. I’ll call her tomorrow.” She smiled brightly at him. “It’s a shame she couldn’t be here.”
“Yeah.” His voice was rough. “And if you call her, can you tell her I’m thinking of her?”
There was a pause as Maddie took in his words. “Is there something wrong between the two of you?” she asked. “Why wouldn’t you tell her yourself?”
Logan swallowed hard. “It’s nothing. We just had a few words, that’s all.”
“About what?”
“Logan, I need you,” Paris said, flashing Maddie a smile. “Sorry, we need to do a quick interview with the trade press. I hope you don’t mind me stealing him?”
“Not at all,” Maddie said, her eyes still wary as they scanned Logan’s face. “I was headed to the bathroom anyway. I’ll catch you later, Logan.”
He felt a wave of relief wash over him. At least he didn’t need to explain himself to her right now. But he knew it was a brief reprieve. She would mention it to Gray, who’d talk to Tanner and Cam, and even Becca. All of them would be dissecting his love life before he’d finished the interview.
They’d know what a mess he’d made of everything.
His chest tightened at the thought. He’d just about held it together for the past few hours, mostly from ignoring the fact that he’d messed up. But if they made him talk, he would probably sob like a baby.
That was why he planned on avoiding his family for as long as possible.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
It took an hour, but eventually Cam managed to corner Logan while he was outside in the alley, trying to get some air.
“What happened?” Cam asked, walking over to where Logan was leaning against the wall, letting the cold Boston air freeze his skin. “Maddie said you and Courtney are having problems? I thought everything was okay.”
Logan lifted his head up. “Courtney wants us to have some space. She’s asked me not to call her.” He leaned against the wall he’d just hit. Luckily, it held no grudges. “This was supposed to be the biggest night of my life, man, and I messed everything up.”
Cam frowned. “Why does she want space? I don’t get it.”
Logan rubbed his brow with the heel of his hand. “I asked her to come out here now that she knows Carl’s okay and she refused. Said she needs to be with her family.” He breathed out raggedly. “But I thought I was supposed to be her family. Me and the baby.”
“You asked her to choose?” Cam asked, lifting an eyebrow.
Logan nodded. “I guess I assumed. And she took that as me expecting her to make the same kind of sacrifices I am. She thinks I’m going to regret leaving all this behind.” He gestured at the restaurant in front of them.
Cam turned, leaning against the wall next to Logan, turning his head so their faces were only inches apart. “You always did expect too much from people.” He lifted an eyebrow. “And you’re a really sore loser.”