“Then let’s sit down,” she suggested. “My whole body aches. I’m not sure if it’s work or the baby. Probably both.”
“Are you well?” he asked her. “Is the baby doing okay?”
She felt a wave of warmth at the fact he’d even asked. “Yeah.” She nodded. “We’re both good.”
They sat on the sofa, a small gap between them. Closer up, she could see the dark shadows beneath his eyes. “Was it a bad shift?” she asked, knowing how terrible some of the things he had to deal with were.
Like the day he’d had to watch them pull his brother’s body from the car wreck.
“A domestic incident that we’ll never be able to solve without somebody getting killed,” he said, rubbing the heel of his hands across his eyes. “And an old woman who, from the kindness of her heart, took in a kid only to have him steal her life savings.”
“People are assholes.” She gave him a sympathetic smile.
“Sure are.” He cleared his throat, his eyes landing on hers. “Mom tells me you’re thinking of selling this place.”
She felt that tug again. “Yeah. Nothing’s solid yet, but I’m looking into it.”
He nodded, running his hand across his smooth chin. “Are you moving in with him?”
When she opened her lips to answer, she could feel her heart slam against her ribcage. “Yes,” she said. “I am.”
He closed his eyes, inhaling sharply. “You don’t need to do that.”
“What do you mean?” Her brows tugged together. “I’m not doing it out of need. It makes sense, for me and the baby.”
“Makes sense to put yourself at his mercy?”
Courtney couldn’t help but laugh at that. “At his mercy? That’s what you think?”
“I don’t know what to think. You’ve completely changed, Court, and it’s his fault. You would never have put this place up for sale if it wasn’t for him. You wouldn’t be pregnant either. It’s like he has this hold on you, and I hate the way it’s making you act. He’s no good for you.” His gaze flickered down at her stomach. “For either of you.”
She had no idea what to say. Looking into his eyes she could see the hurt there, and it hurt her, too. No matter how angry she’d gotten with him when he’d hit Logan, she also knew he’d done it from a place of pain.
“Just because I’m moving doesn’t mean I’m leaving the farm. Or the family.” She ran her tongue along her dry lips. “Or that I’ve forgotten Shaun.”
Carl swallowed hard. “The day we laid him in the ground, I made a promise that I’d always look after you. And I’ve failed. If he’s watching now, and I’m goddamned praying he isn’t, he must hate me.”
Her throat tightened. “You have looked after me. All of you. And Shaun would know that.”
Carl pressed his lips together, shaking his head. “No I haven’t,” he said, his voice cracking. “I’ve let you become this.” He gestured at her. “I’ve let this big city guy come and take you away from everything that’s important. You’re leaving the house Shaun left you, Court. The same house you’ve lived in since he brought you home. It’s like you don’t give a fuck about it any more.”
“Of course I care. But I need to move on.”
“With Logan Hartson.” His voice was harsh.
She took a deep breath. “Yes with him.”
Carl blinked. Were his eyes shining? “You’re a damn fool.”
“I know you mean well, Carl, but I don’t need you to watch out for me. I’m a grown woman. I know what I’m doing.”
“Are you sure? Because where I’m sitting I see you making a big fucking mistake. Did you know I stopped him for speeding a couple of weeks ago?”
Courtney looked up, surprised. “No, I didn’t know that.” Her face flushed.
“He was probably too embarrassed to admit it. Made some stupid excuse about needing to catch a flight. What about the next time, Court? What if the baby’s in the car with him? Do you even know this guy?”
“Carl, I…”