He’d never get sick of seeing Becca Hartson walk into his living room, her dark hair flowing over her shoulders, a smile curling at her lips. Damn, she was beautiful, and he didn’t deserve her.
But he wanted to be the kind of man who deserved to have this beautiful, sensitive, funny woman on his arm.
He’d spend the rest of his life proving it to her, if she’d let him.
He held his arms open, and she stepped into his embrace, her head soft against his chest. Lowering his head, he breathed her in, the ache in his ribcage lessening as he curled his arms around her.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered into her hair. “I’m sorry for hurting you. For driving when I shouldn’t have and making you scared.” She looked up at him, her eyes shining, and his stomach contracted because she was so beautiful. He cupped her face, lowering his lips to her brow, kissing her softly. “I’m sorry for not being honest.”
“Can you tell me about the baby?” Becca asked him.
Every cell in his body was telling him not to. But he knew they were wrong. If he wanted to deserve this woman, he had to show her who he was. He needed to be honest and vulnerable.
Even if it killed him.
“Let’s sit down again.” His lip quirked. “Hopefully nobody else will be knocking at the door.”
“We’ll ignore it.” Becca’s eyes narrowed. “People need to learn to call before they come over.”
They sat down, and he pulled her close, unwilling to be apart from her again. He cleared his throat, sliding his fingers between hers. “Melissa and I were on the verge of splitting up when she discovered she was pregnant,” he said, swallowing hard because this was so damn difficult to talk about. “It came as a shock to us both. But she thought it would bring us closer together, while in reality it tore us apart.”
Becca leaned her head against his shoulder. “Do you think she planned it?”
“I don’t know. She said she didn’t. And in the end it doesn’t matter, because it takes two to make a baby.”
“Can you back track a little?” Becca asked. “Tell me how you met Melissa.”
She wanted it all. And he’d give it to her, whatever it took. It was painful knowing that back then he wasn’t the man he should have been. He fell short so many times. How could Becca love him if he couldn’t love himself?
“Melissa was an old family friend. Our fathers knew each other for years. That’s how Lawrence and I met her. We dated for two years. For most of that, I was working all the hours I could. I started off in the sales department. I traveled all over the country, sometimes all over the world, talking to clients, getting orders in. And it didn’t leave much time for relationship. Melissa resented that, but I didn’t change a thing.” He blew out a mouthful of air. “We should have split up long before we did. But my father liked Melissa, and then there was Lawrence…” He sighed. “Even after Dad died, I didn’t do the right thing until the truth was hitting me in the face. And when I tried to end our relationship, she told me she was pregnant. And I felt trapped.”
Becca squeezed his hand. “But you were going to stay with her?”
“I thought it was the honorable thing to do. But I didn’t stop traveling or working every hour I could.” He shook his head. “I worked harder than ever. Because when I was working, I didn’t have to think about what a mistake we were making. We were arguing a lot by that point. We couldn’t even agree on where to live. She wanted to buy somewhere in Charleston, I wanted to be near the distillery. Then she gave me an ultimatum. Either I moved to a job in the distillery that didn’t involve traveling, or she left me.”
“And you refused?”
“I saw red. Told her not to pin me into a corner. We didn’t talk for days, and then I left for a meeting in Toronto. That’s when the phone calls started. She tried everything. Begging. Arguing. Pleading. And eventually she started telling me she was feeling ill. That I should come home in case something happened to the baby.”
Becca’s face fell. “Oh god…”
Daniel’s breath felt ragged. “I told her she was imagining it. That she was fine. I’d take her to the doctor when I was back. I was still going to be there for the baby, even if the two of us didn’t make it.” He glanced up, his pained gaze catching Becca’s. “Then, in the middle of the night I got the phone call from the hospital. She’d lost the baby.” There was a softness to his voice that made her ache.
Becca blinked back tears. “I’m so sorry.”
“It was my fault. I should have been there when she needed me.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” Becca was vehement. “These things happen. They’re nobody’s fault.”
“I still should have been there.” Daniel curled his fingers around hers. If she pulled away now, he wasn’t sure he could take it. “And I truly regret that I wasn’t.”
“What happened next?”
“Lawrence was there for her when I wasn’t. Took care of her, showed her love. Within a month of her leaving me, they were engaged.”
“Did she do it to hurt you?” Becca asked, frowning.
“I don’t know. Maybe.” Daniel shook his head. “It doesn’t really matter. The truth is, they’re more suited to each other. It never would have worked between us. But it still didn’t stop me from feeling like a failure. And when I heard the distillery in Scotland was looking for a new director, I jumped at the chance to get away.” He looked at her through his thick lashes. “And now you know what a mess I was. Still am.”