“You want me to talk?” Her voice rose up. She knew how hysterical she sounded. “I’m not the one with all the secrets here.” She pushed open the door to the guest wing, letting it fall close behind her. Daniel must have caught it, because she could hear the slap of his dress shoes against the floor. “Please, let me be alone. Go down to dinner. You’ll be missed.”
“I’m not going down there without you.”
She turned to look at him, and he winced at the tears falling down her cheeks. “I can’t go back to the party. I’m not making a scene on your mother’s birthday. Please, Daniel.”
“I’ll go if you tell me what’s going on.” He leaned around her, opening her door. She stepped inside and he followed, pulling the door shut behind him. He took her hand, pulling her toward him, but she resisted his tug.
She couldn’t think when she was this close to him. His body called to her like a siren on a rock. She needed space. Needed to think.
“Becca?”
“Why didn’t you tell me about your baby?” She wiped the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand. A black smudge of mascara stained her skin.
Daniel grimaced. “You heard us?”
“A little. Lawrence filled in the blanks.”
“Fucking Lawrence.” Daniel shook his head. “I’m going to kill him.”
“No.” Her voice was firmer than she’d expected. “It isn’t his fault. You’re the one who should have told me. You had plenty of chances.”
“When did you want me to say something?” His eyes were narrow. “When we were having sex at the hotel? When my head was buried between your thighs at my place? Maybe you wanted me to walk into the still room and make an announcement. Would that have been the best thing?”
She hated the way he was looking at her. His eyes were cold and dark. “You asked me about children. I told you I wanted some. Do you know how much guts that took? Everybody knows that you don’t tell guys you want a family too soon. That you hold back, as to not scare them.” She shook her head. “But I wanted to be honest with you. I thought the truth was important. So I told you and exposed my biggest damn fear. Maybe then you could have told me. Or last week when I asked you why you didn’t want to come to this dinner party. You could have told me any
time, but you didn’t.” She wiped her eyes again. “Do you know how much enjoyment Lawrence got from telling me?”
“I can imagine.” There was a tic in his jaw.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because…” He sighed and turned away, raking his fingers through his hair. “I was protecting—”
“No, don’t you dare say you were protecting me.” Her voice was hard. “Because that’s a damn lie.”
He spun to look at her. The darkness in his eyes felt like it was getting bigger. She almost didn’t recognize him. “I was protecting myself.” His voice was as harsh as his expression. “Does that satisfy you? I was protecting the one good thing that has happened to me in years. Because I knew as soon as I told you, you would have left.”
“You don’t know that at all.” She shook her head.
He gestured at her. “You proved me right. You heard it and you ran.”
“But not because you lost a baby. I’m not that cruel.”
“So why are you shouting at me? Why are you looking at me like I’m a piece of shit?” His face was red. She noticed his fingers were trembling.
“Because you lied to me. By omission, at least. You hid something important from me, and let me find out in the worst of ways.”
“Because I knew you’d leave.”
“I wouldn’t have.”
“Yes, you would.” He spat out the words. “You would have left, and you should have left, because you deserve so much more than me. So much more than the kind of guy who was too busy to be with his girlfriend when she lost their baby.”
His words felt like a body blow. She tried to catch her breath, and failed. “She was alone,” she said raggedly, remembering Lawrence’s words.
“I was traveling. She kept calling and asking me to come back.” He scrunched his face together. “I was too busy working to bother listening to what she had to say. She was having cramps, and I told her it was fine, probably growing pains. I’d take her to the doctor when I got home. That it would be nothing to worry about.” He shook his head, lost in his memories. “I was so damn full of myself, I didn’t think of her or our child. And that’s why she left me. Because I’m a heartless asshole who puts himself above everybody else. Is that what you want to hear?”
Becca’s heart was hurting. For him, for Melissa, for the baby that never got to live. “Daniel…” She reached for him, and he pulled away.