“You want to be king?” I ask.
“Why not?”
“I mean…” I can honestly think of about a thousand reasons why I would never want to be a king, but I am a rather antisocial monster.
“Someone has to do it,” Tarq says.
“What about the wood nymphs?” I ask. “And your woman?”
“You take them out of here. And my woman goes too. Take them back to the sanctuary. They’ll be safe there. You’ll all be safe there. Stick with the plan. I’m sure that’s where Pie went, anyway.” He adds that in to sweeten the pot because he knows she’s really my only concern once we’re out of here.
But he’s also right. Where else would she go? Saint Mark’s is her home now. The world outside those walls is a strange place where she never fit in. She would go back. I think.
“I heard her spell,” Talina says. “Did you hear it? She said, ‘Her sins are mine to keep and hold, in debt she goes in my control.’”
“Wow,” Mikayla says. “That’s good.”
“She put a debt spell on the queen?” This ungodly shriek comes from the unfrozen guard, who I had actually forgotten about.
“Holy shit,” I chuckle. “She did. She put a debt spell on the queen.”
“And where do debt spells live?” Tarq asks.
“Saint Mark’s, apparently,” I say.
“Exactly. Take my woman and the wood nymphs to the sanctuary and you will all be safe. Talina and Mikayla will stay here with me and I will be king.”
“I love how you say, ‘I will be king.’ Like it’s just that easy.”
“Not only am I the logical successor, but it can be that easy, Pell. All you have to do it make it so.”
“How do I make it so?”
“Spell me.”
“Spell you how?” It’s really not a laugh-out-loud moment, but then again it kinda is.
“Recite a poem and make me king.”
“I don’t do that, Tarq. I… make bags, and… slam doors, and freeze people.”
“Wow,” Talina says, planting her hands on her hips in a way that reminds me of Pie. “I can’t decide if you’re simple, stupid, or charming.”
“What?” I turn to look at her.
“You’re roaring out commands, Pell. You are a natural commander of words. This is very high magic. It’s maybe even more powerful than Pie’s. Surely you didn’t miss the fact that you shook the room?”
“No, I noticed. I just don’t know what it means.”
“It’s very simple,” Tarq says, “It means you have power, Pell. Power to do very exciting things. So make up a spell to proclaim me king and take the nymphs back to your sanctuary so you can keep them safe until I get things under control here.”
“This is not going to work!” We all turn to look at the shrieking guard. He’s got one of those freaked-out looks on his face. Like he’s about to lose his shit. “You monsters are all crazy! Who the hell do you think you are? Coming in here, stealing our queen, proclaiming yourself king! It’s preposterous! I will have you all arrested! I will put you in prison! I will—”
Yeah. He’s annoying. So I just pull another Pie. “A horn, a hoof, an eye, a bone.”
“No!” the guard screams. “No! I will not allow—”
“I take the power of this ring.” I hold up my hand to show it off, wiggle my fingers a little. “My best friend Tarq is now the king!”