It’s not that I think she’s lying, I don’t. I just think she’s overly dramatic when it comes to Tarq. I blame it on his giant dick. She’s just uncomfortable around his cock. Which I am OK with. She should not be looking at his dick. I’m even on board with her never going back. But the Book of Debt doesn’t work that way. If you fight it, life gets hard. Still, I can see that she really doesn’t want to go talk to Tarq about this, so I say, “I’ll go.”
“You?” She shoots me a look.
“Yeah. Why not? You know how to open the doors now. And clearly, I can go through them. So I’ll go, talk to Tarq, get the spell they need, and we’ll be good.”
She shoots me another look. “You’re sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. What could go wrong?”
“Don’t tempt fate, mister,” Pie chastises me with a pointy finger.
I hold up both hands. “Promise. No tempting.”
Pie shrugs and lets out a breath. I believe it is a breath of relief. “OK. If you say so. Give me a minute to come up with a spelling.”
I take her hand. “You can walk and spell at the same time?”
“Umm…”
“Great. Let’s go. I want to get this over with. I do not want that sheriff coming out here and I’m tired of thinking about this. The sanctuary needs to be hidden from everyone.”
“Shh,” she chastises me. “I’m walking and spelling.”
When we get back inside my tomb and we’re standing in front of the row of portal doors, I say, “How do you think this works?”
“I think I just take the ring”—she plucks one from the air—“and then give it to you.”
She offers it, and I take it.
“Put it on.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m making this up as I go, Pell.”
We laugh, but it’s one of those… this-is-probably-not-a-good-idea laughs. But what else can we do? “OK.” I put the ring on. It gets stuck at my first knuckle because my hands are far too big. “Now what?”
“Now.” She thinks for a moment. “You stand here.” She shoves me in front of the door. “Then I’ll say the spell. ‘A horn, a hoof, an eye, a bone.’” She says these words quickly, like they’re not special. “The sleek and shaggy now both grown. An office via portal door. The satyr exits, prisoner no more.”
“Hey, you’re really getting good—”
But before I can even finish my sentence, the ring slides all the way down my finger and the door sucks me through.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE – TOMAS
As soon as Pie and Pell leave to go do their portal spell the new monsters are both ecstatic and agitated. But there is one reaction that catches my eye immediately. Batty is arguing with Eyebrows. And while Batty is the more frightening monster in appearance—he has that leathery black body and bat wings, and Eyebrows has a grandfatherly look to him—it’s the latter monster’s low, even words that change the dynamic between the two. Eyebrows is giving off a boss vibe. Like he’s in charge here. And I hadn’t noticed that before.
Even so, I expect Batty to win this disagreement because he is young, and obnoxious, and wild. So when he firmly shuts up and gives in to Eyebrows, even going so far as to exhibit an almost submissive posture, I take more notice and walk over to them.
“What’s going on now?” I ask. Because I’m getting the feeling that there’s more to this story.
Batty opens his mouth and he’s just about to enlighten me when a sing-songy voice calls out from the forest beyond the walls.
“Mon-sterrrrrrrrrs. We know you’re innnnnnnn therrrrrrre.”
“Oh, shit,” I mutter. “How did they find us?”
But no one even hears my question. All the monsters are suddenly on the move, hopping up onto tomb rooftops, jumping like goats from one statue to the next, and growling like they are watchbeasts.