Led Astray (Hellraisers 1) - Page 78

She smiled and slid over to sit hip to hip beside him. "That's better." He draped his right arm over her shoulders and immediately covered her breast with his hand.

"Cage!" She flung his hand off.

"I developed and perfected that move in junior high school. Don't tell me that after all these years it doesn't work."

"It doesn't work with me," she retorted primly.

"It never did work with the nice girls," he grumbled. "But you can't blame a guy for trying." He crooked his elbow and drew his hand back so that his fingers were free to strum her neck. "What were you thinking about?"

Quite naturally she let her head fall back onto his shoulder. Her hand landed on his thigh and she left it there. "That this is really fun. I've never done anything this wild and reckless before."

"This is wild and reckless? We're merely driving down the highway. Of course, there's a little harmless petting going on between two people who are obviously in love with each other and are soon to be married."

"I haven't said I'll marry you."

His pause was brief but significant. "I was referring to Roxy and Gary."

Mortification swept through Jenny like a tidal wave. She yanked her hand off his thigh and tried to put space between them. Cage would have none of it. He held her against him, though she strained away.

"Come back here," he whispered fiercely. "And

you can stop that wiggling because I'm not going to let you go." When her struggles subsided, he said, "I'm thrilled that you thought I was talking about us. You took it to mean that we are two people obviously in love with each other. Are we two people in love, Jenny?"

"I don't know," she mumbled, her head bowed.

"I can only speak for myself, of course." His eyes left the highway. "I love you, Jenny."

She raised her head and became captivated by the eloquent expression in his eyes. They stared at each other for long mo­ments as the car roared down the highway. Finally he returned his attention to the road.

"I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I've said those words to dozens of women. Well, I have. I've said whatever was necessary at the time to get them into bed with me. I've made love because I was drunk, or horny, or angry, or blue, or happy. For just about every reason you can think of.

"And sometimes I did it even when I didn't want to, but because I felt sorry for the woman and knew she needed a man. I've been with beautiful women and some not so beau­tiful. I haven't been discreet or discriminating.

"But I swear to you, Jenny," he said earnestly, turning his head toward her again, "that I've never been in love. Until now. You're the only woman I've ever loved. It started a long time ago. Years ago.

"But I didn't see any sense in pursuing it. Everyone would have thought I was wrong for you. You would have run in terror if I'd approached you seriously. Mother and Dad would have had conniption fits. And besides all that, there was Hal, and I didn't want to hurt him."

Tears were rolling down the cheek she pressed against his shoulder. "Why are you telling me this now?"

"Don't you think it's time you knew?" His arm hugged her possessively and he pressed a kiss to her temple. "Do you love me, Jenny?"

"Yes, I think so. I mean, I do, I know I do. It's just that I'm confused."

"Confused?"

"My life was so well planned and organized, so carefully controlled, until a few months ago. Since the night Hal left for Central America nothing has been as it was before. That night changed me. I'm different. I can't explain it."

Cage squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. He wanted to tell her then. He wanted to say, "You're changed because we made love and it was beautiful and our bodies told us something we had secretly known but had ignored for years—you were involved with the wrong brother."

But he couldn't tell her that. Not now. Not ever. It was a secret he would live with for the rest of his life, even if it meant that he couldn't acknowledge his own child. Jenny had been hurt enough. He wouldn't hurt her any more.

"I'm like an animal raised in captivity who has just been thrown into the wild. I'm feeling my way into the mainstream of life. Taking things a day at a time. It has to be a gradual process."

She raised her head and spoke to his profile. "Don't ask me for a commitment, Cage. Everything is so complex. I barely had time to straighten out my feelings for Hal before I realized how I really felt about you." Again her hand was on his thigh. Her fingers curled into the hard flesh. "I only know that if you were to suddenly leave my life, I couldn't bear it."

He covered her hand with his. "You know what would have happened if Roxy and Gary hadn't interrupted us, don't you?"

"We would have made love."

Tags: Sandra Brown Hellraisers Romance
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