“Jade?” Mortified, Hank tried to take her into his arms, but she huddled against the car door. “Jade,” he whispered, his voice mystified and anguished, “I’m sorry. I’m not going to hurt you. Jade?”
His fingers sifted through her hair until she quieted. Eventually, she raised her head and looked at him with wide, fearful eyes. “I told you. I can’t.”
“It’s okay, Jade.”
She was insistent that he comprehend what she was telling him. “I can’t be with you like that.
I can’t be with any man. Ever. Don’t expect it. Don’t waste your time trying.”
His eyes had lost their sparkle but not their kindness. He smiled lopsidedly and shrugged with self-deprecation. “It’s my time. I’ll waste it how I like.”
He walked her to the front door and bade her a final goodbye, promising to write at least once a week through the summer. After letting herself in, Jade leaned against the door and closed her eyes.
“Jade, would you and Hank like some cake and coffee?”
Cathy had entered the vestibule from the rear of the house, and drew up short when she saw Jade’s bleak expression. “Hank’s not with me, Cathy. He said to tell you both goodbye and that he would look forward to seeing you in the fall.”
“Oh, I thought he would come in for a while.”
“No. How’s Graham? Did he go to bed without a fuss? I’d better go up and check on him.”
As Jade moved past her, Cathy reached out and caught her hand. “What’s wrong, Jade? Are you upset about Hank leaving for the summer? Or did you two have a spat?”
Jade slumped down onto the third step of the staircase and covered her face with her hands, laughing mirthlessly behind them. “Oh Lord, I wish it were that simple.”
Cathy sat down on the step beneath her, removed Jade’s hands from her face, and regarded her with maternal concern. “What’s the matter, Jade? Can you talk about it?”
“Where’s Hank? What’s going on?” Mitch asked as he joined them. He had on a summer-weight robe over his pajamas. Cathy, Jade noticed for the first time, was also dressed for bed and had a few curlers in the top of her hair. They had been waiting up for her.
The Hearons had been more like parents to her than her own. Ronald Sperry was little more than a medal in a box, a photograph, a warm but distant memory. Jade had made several attempts to locate her mother, but with no success. Velta had covered her tracks well—or Harvey had covered them for her. Evidently she had washed her hands of Jade and Graham. The severance with her mother nearly broke Jade’s heart, but she had come to accept it and hoped that Velta had found some happiness.
Jade certainly had. From the day the Hearons had insisted that she and Graham move in with them, they had treated her as their own daughter, although they insisted that she call them by their first names. Graham’s version of “Cathy” was something like “Caff.” He called Mitch “Poppy.”
The days had fallen into weeks and the weeks into months, and before long Jade couldn’t imagine life without Cathy and Mitch. She and Graham shared a large, comfortable bedroom suite on the second floor of their house. Cathy prepared sumptuous meals for them. The lovely house, initially their refuge, became their home.
Cathy carried pictures of Graham in her wallet and boasted about each of his accomplishments like a grandmother. They honored Jade’s privacy and never questioned her about his father, although she was certain they wondered about it. Any awkwardness that arose from introducing Jade and Graham to their friends was either patently ignored or handled with Cathy Hearon’s characteristic tactfulness. Jade owed them a debt of gratitude she could never repay, but she hoped that she and Graham had returned some of the joy they had received. Without the Hearons’ generosity, her life would have taken a vastly different turn. Not only would she have missed college, but, more important, their affection, acceptance, and compassion.
Now, taking a seat in the small chair beside the foyer table, Mitch said, “Are you ladies going to tell me what’s going on?”
“Something happened between Hank and Jade tonight.”
Jade smiled wanly. “No, Cathy. Nothing happened between us tonight. Nothing ever will. That’s the problem.” She took a deep breath. “Unfortunately, Hank has fallen in love with me.”
“You don’t return his feelings?” Cathy probed gently.
“I love him dearly as a friend.”
“Being considered a friend is a tough blow for a boy in love,” Mitch said.
“I know,” Jade said miserably. “I tried to tell him months ago that it was hopeless. I encouraged him to date other girls. I knew he would get hurt if he kept seeing me, but he wouldn’t listen. Now the worst has happened, and it breaks my heart.”
“Are you so sure that you won’t eventually come to love him?” Cathy asked hopefully. “He’s such an easygoing young man, and utterly captivated by you. Perhaps after the separation this summer…”
Jade was already shaking her head. “I won’t fall in love with him—with anyone.”
Their troubled faces conveyed their concern. It would have been a tremendous relief to unburden herself and tell them the whole truth. But she didn’t want anyone to know about the rape. She’d learned that assault victims were victims for life. Even if they were entirely innocent, as she was, they were forever regarded with curiosity and suspicion, as though they had been branded. She lived in fear of the Hearons finding out about her. They probably would consider her the sinned against rather than the sinner, but she was unwilling to take the chance. Each time she was tempted to confide in them, she had only to remind herself that her classmates, her best friend, even her own mother had doubted her.
“I’m tired,” Jade said, rising. “Good night.” She hugged them in turn before going upstairs, trusting them to respect her privacy. They asked no further questions.