Kathleen sat down primly, tugged on the bottom of her skirt and straightened her back. Her head was held at a proud angle. Despite the Christmas season, all Kirchoff department stores had been closed today so that Seth’s employees could attend his funeral. Kathleen was setting an example for them, Erik knew. Seth would have wanted them to conduct themselves bravely and with dignity.
Theron wasn’t with her, of course. Nor was Alice there, which explained who was watching the boy. The eulogy was short and poignant. Immediately, when it was over, Kathleen stood up and greeted those who had converged upon her. With serenity and grace, she shook hands, received kisses on the cheek, comforted those who were reduced to tears. Claire Larchmont, Seth’s faithful secretary and friend, was inconsolable.
God, what a woman, Erik thought as he watched Kathleen speaking gently to Claire. What a courageous little soldier. She was so beautiful. She had left a mark on him as permanent as a birthmark. He would never be rid of her. It would take time, he knew. But now there was no reason they couldn’t be together. Her, himself and their son. He wanted that more than anything.
For the rest of his life, he would be grateful to Seth for taking care of them for him. Few men would have done that so lovingly and unselfishly. Above all, and in spite of everything, Seth Kirchoff had been an admirable man. Erik regretted not getting back from his trip in time to tell Seth how much he thought of him. Brief though their friendship had been, he would miss Seth.
The crowd was beginning to thin. Unnoticed, Erik moved closer. Only a few stragglers were speaking to her now. He watched Hazel as she walked up to her sister-in-law. Something about that woman had always disturbed him. From beneath the heavy veil, he heard her speak to Kathleen.
“You play the grieving widow very well, Kathleen. Wouldn’t people be surprised to know what you’re really like?”
Erik’s eyebrows drew together in puzzlement. He hadn’t known the other woman was openly hostile to Kathleen.
Kathleen sighed resignedly. “Hazel, can’t we please bury the hatchet along with Seth?”
“Shut up and listen to me. My brother was a simpleminded idiot to ever bring you into our lives, but I’ve tolerated you for as long as I intend to. I want you and your bastard out of my house and out of my life. Do you understand?”
Erik saw Kathleen stiffen defensively. “You tried to threaten me once before. Remember the swimming pool?” Kathleen asked. “What I told you then still holds. I want no part of your life, Hazel. And as soon as the will is probated, I’ll arrange to live elsewhere. In the meantime, you stay away from me and from my son. If you so much as come near him, you’ll pay the consequences.”
The older woman was quaking with rage. The veil covering her face trembled. She turned on her heels and stamped toward the waiting limousine.
Kathleen’s chest expanded as she drew in great gulps of air. She shook her head when George tried to take hold of her arm. “Are you all right, Kathleen?” Erik heard him ask her.
“Yes, I’m fine.”
Erik couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. The swimming pool and Theron. Hazel had been… God! His musing pinpointed to one chilling conclusion. Hazel was obviously deranged.
Kathleen was at her mercy. And Theron. He moved from his place under the temporary canopy and came up behind her. She seemed so small, frail and helpless. He wanted to take her in his arms, lend her his strength and comfort, tell her that everything would be all right. They would be together soon.
Instead, he only spoke her name.
She pulled herself up abruptly. That voice. The one that she loved. He spoke her name like no one else. She was ready to fall into his arms and beg never to be released.
She steeled herself against the emotion that engulfed her. She was Seth Kirchoff’s widow and she would act accordingly. More than anything in the world, she wanted Erik, wanted to be with him, but she couldn’t have him after all that had happened.
At first she had felt that Seth’s death was her punishment for her adultery. That, she realized, was ridiculous. Seth had been sick long before Erik had come to San Francisco. Seth would have understood and condoned their loving. He would have forgiven her the most unforgivable transgression, but she could never forgive herself.
She loved Erik. She always would. But she wouldn’t allow herself the luxury of having him. She wanted his love, but his only claim to loving her had been qualified. She wanted security with him and Theron, but she didn’t feel that it was their destiny. Why had so many roadblocks been thrown in their path if they were meant to be together? Too much anguish, too much pain, had been suffered for her loving Erik. The price it exacted was too high. She could no longer pay it.
Hard as it was to do, she turned around to face him, ordering her control not to slip. “Hello, Erik. Thank you for coming,” she said by rote. She didn’t meet his eyes, but talked to the knot of his necktie.
“I wanted to be here, with you,” he said, and she caught the hidden emphasis on the last two words. “What can I do to help you?” he asked softly.
“Nothing,” she said waspishly. Immediately, she saw the stark realization enter his eyes. He knew she was shutting him out. His mustache twitched with a grimace of internal pain. She couldn’t afford to spare him. She had to be merciless. “Everything has been seen to. I have George and Alice to help me. Eliot will take care of things at the store until I decide what to do.”
“Kathleen…”
His voice had an undercurrent of pleading in it, and she rushed on. “As soon as you’ve produced the commercials, Eliot will view them.”
“I’m not here to discuss the goddam commercials,” he said with ominous softness. “I’m here to talk about you. And me. About what happened between us a long time ago and most recently on Chub Cay.”
She shot an embarrassed look toward George and Eliot, but they were engaged in their own quiet conversation.
“There is nothing to discuss, Erik,” she said casually. “I doubt that I’ll be seeing much of you. I plan to take an extended rest. Goodbye.”
She turned away from him and took half a step before he b
rought her around. “Okay, Kathleen, deny us a life together, which I know you want as much as I do, but you won’t keep my son from me. For months, I’ve been looking for a good excuse to take him from you. Now I have one.” He glanced meaningfully toward the limousine where Hazel was ensconced, and Kathleen knew he had heard the threats. “I don’t think I need to elaborate.”