When she opened her eyes, the scene had changed. Erik was approaching Seth at a run, his features registering alarm.
“Seth?” He spoke softly, but Seth heard him and immediately ceased his bitter tirade. The dark eyes slammed shut in embarrassment and his head dropped forward as though hinged to his neck until his chin rested on his chest. His fists remained clenched around the arms of the chair. Erik didn’t speak. Instead, he crouched down on one knee and stared at the ground, patiently waiting for Seth to initiate any conversation.
Kathleen remained breathless and still behind the drapes at the patio door.
“I’m sorry that you had to witness such a temper tantrum. I don’t indulge myself very often, but when I do, I know it’s quite a spectacle.” Seth spoke with self-deprecating humor.
Erik didn’t even smile. He looked up at the other man. “I don’t think I’ve ever told you how much I admire you, Seth. If I were in your condition, if our roles were reversed, I wouldn’t handle it with the graciousness you do.”
“Ah, Erik, don’t pin any medals on my chest. I’m only valorous because I have to be.”
“No, you don’t. You could be a real bastard about it.”
Seth sighed. “Sometimes I feel like being that way. Like now, for instance. I’d like very much to hate you. Don’t you think I wish I had your body, your strength? I’m more dependent on other people than Theron is. What do you think such dependence does to a man? I despise being virtually helpless, Erik. I’ve merely learned to live with it. I confess that I envy you every time I see you.”
Erik picked up the basketball from under the bushes and carefully traced the markings on it with his finger. When he spoke, his voice was so low that Kathleen had trouble hearing him. “I confess to envying you. I wish I had your capacity to accept things as they are. For the past couple of years, I’ve been swimming upstream, battling odds, for something unattainable, wanting something I have no right to want. I can’t take no for an answer. I’ve never been able to. On the other hand, everything you say and do demonstrates a selflessness that I admire because I can’t even understand it. It’s too foreign to my character.”
“Thank you, Erik, but I think you’re being far too hard on yourself.”
“No, I’m afraid I know myself all too well,” he scoffed. He seemed to physically shake off the serious mood and said, “Are you ready to play some basketball?”
“To tell the truth,” Seth admitted apologetically, “I don’t quite feel up to it today.”
“Fine. No problem. How about a beer instead?”
“Sounds good. It’s such a sunny day, why don’t we just stay out here?”
“Okay, I’ll go get the beer.” Erik dropped the basketball and loped toward the kitchen door. Kathleen ducked out of sight, not wanting either man to know she had seen him at his most vulnerable.
* * *
The Sunday after Thanksgiving found Kathleen working in the freight room of the downtown store. The stores had been closed Thanksgiving Day, and since the following Friday and Saturday were two of the busiest shopping days of the year, she hadn’t done some of her own work so she could be on hand if the clerks on the floor needed her assistance.
She and Seth met in the employees’ parking lot. They had driven downtown in separate cars, not knowing when the other would be finished. Seth wanted to supervise the hanging of the Christmas decorations. “There’s no way I can be an Indian,” he joked as he wheeled his chair across the asphalt. “I’m indisputably the chief.”
Kathleen had come dressed for hard, dusty work in old, faded jeans and a chambray shirt with the cuffs rolled back. Her hair was gathered into a ponytail. “Is this the fashion plate of San Francisco?” Seth teased.
“This is she,” she joked back. “All I’m going to be doing is unpacking boxes and steaming clothes. I dressed for comfort.”
“I’m glad you’re doing that today. Tomorrow, when the stores open, there’ll be fresh merchandise on the shelves. From now till Christmas, we’re going to be selling like crazy.” His eyes shone avariciously.
“Seth Kirchoff! How very greedy you are. And it isn’t even your holiday.”
“I give Chanukah presents, don’t I?”
They were still bantering back and forth when George helped roll “the chariot” into the service entrance of the store, where workers were assembled with Christmas decorations, awaiting instructions from Seth and Kirchoff’s window dresser. Everyone got busy.
“Hey, I like that,” Seth said from behind Kathleen several hours later as she was hanging up a soft yellow suit. “Be sure and keep one of those out for yourself.”
“I already have,” she said impishly. “I liked it, too.”
“You see, two great minds always run on the same course.”
The telephone on her desk rang and she reached to pick it up. “Hello.”
“Kathleen?”
Her heart jumped crazily as it always did when she recognized the deep rumble of Erik’s voice. Since the scene between him and Seth in front of the basketball goal, she had seen little of him. Miraculously, and because manufacturers wanted to stay